behindthec: (ryden.)
so okay, originally in the outline there was a scene in pccf where brendon catches ryan wearing girls' underwear, and it's not like a ~thing in the fic, but it's a moment that just adds to the tension (they do show up one more time after that).  and ryan was like, look, it's not a thing, i just like it sometimes, it's comfortable to sleep in, and.  yeah.  but then i took it out of the outline because i know not everyone is into that, and i didn't want to like randomly throw my kink in and add a dimension that a lot of people would go squicky over.  but after the response to [Poll #1346854]happy commando tuesday!

behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks) [master post]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairings: Brendon/Ryan (main), Brendon/various (Jon, Spencer, Pete, William, Gabe, Shane)
Warnings: Kink of all kinds! Each vignette lists its own.
Word Count: ~23,780
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: Twelve vignettes detailing Brendon's exploration of his kinks over the years through various partners, even though there's only one he really wants. ;)
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] minus_four, this is as much yours as mine. [livejournal.com profile] falling_words, for ideas/brainstorming. But mostly ALL OF YOU! For all your support, comments, emails, friendships, and PORN. You guys make me smile every day, and this year I've spent in bandom has been the best time I've had in my whole decade of fandom.
Notes: Based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series), one vignette a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. :)  All titles from TAI's Fast Times.


Bite your lip, pull me in, it's not the sin;
It's the mess that feels so right.

--The Academy Is


*These read similarly to chapters; they are connected, chronological, progressive, and they reference each other, so it's best to read them in order (especially the finale, which is based on all the others).


1. This Exercise of Self-Abuse              2. Somewhere in the Act              3. Talk Like a Tease 

4. Somewhere Hidden Underneath              5. Let Us Fall, Let Us Fight              6. Our Brilliant Disguise 

7. If This Is A Test              8. Blindfolded, Eyes Wide Open              9. Scratch the Surface

10. Can't Shake the Taste              11. These Reckless Games              12. If You Knew What I Know


(Kinks will be posted every morning from December 14-25, 2008.)


behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: If You Knew What I Know [Day 12 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Kink du Jour: Oh lord: fisting, felching, facials, biting, breathplay, and revisited kinks from the series. w00t!
Word Count: ~5,700 words of smut. Merry fucking Christmas. XD
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: In the space of a mere few heartbeats, the debate in his mind is rampant, and he realizes this isn't just about Ryan trusting him; this is a test of him trusting Ryan.
Notes: Vignette 12 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

(Sorry it's an hour late; Pete graciously let me sleep in today! :P)

What's amazing is how well Brendon can pretend because he's been doing it for years. )

behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: These Reckless Games [Day 11 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brendon/Jon
Kink du Jour: Some light bondage; rimming.
Word Count: ~2,460
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: "Oh, Jesus fuck. Did I like, take out an ad or something? How do people keep finding out?!"
Notes: Vignette 11 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

So, Cassie says I can fuck you if it's for a good cause. )

behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: Can't Shake the Taste [Day 10 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Rating: R
Pairing: Brendon/William
Kink du Jour: Snowballing. (Author's favorite! \o/)
Word Count: ~1,340
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: His voice has shifted a bit, fingers teasing a pattern on the leg of Brendon's jeans, when he whispers, "You save anything on the list for me?"
Notes: Vignette 10 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

Brendon feels old. )

behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: Scratch the Surface [Day 9 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Kink du Jour: Voyeurism (sort of; more like audio-voyeurism :P), hair-pulling.
Word Count: ~1,770
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: He's only human; worse, a dude; and worst of all, he's Brendon, and this is Ryan.
Notes: Vignette 9 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

It would be so easy to blame this on Ryan -- so he does. )


behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: Blindfolded, Eyes Wide Open [Day 8 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Rating: R
Pairing: Brendon/Shane
Kink du Jour: Blindfolding. Shotgunning. Some fumbling burnplay. (Don't smoke, kids, it's bad and not at all sexy the way I make it out to be.)
Word Count: ~1,700
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: Brendon smiles wide, drawing the joint to his lips for another drag. "You totally want to take a picture of this, don't you?"
Notes: Vignette 8 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

Dude, I'm not unpacking your god damned suitcase. )

behindthec: (pwf)
since kink 7 is already up and not new to most of you, i leave you with an ~alternative present today (yes, ch 15 is well underway and will be posted after xmas).

PWF ART BY YOURS TRULY. \o/ )

drawn lovingly in Paint yesterday for sophie, who started it all with this, which had me laughing so hard i almost fell out of my chair.  as you can see, i tried to give spencer hips.  really should not have done that.  ryan is most accurate, i feel, except for where i forgot to give him balls -- although, that could've been subconsciously intentional, ha HA.  the plane looks like a shark.  don't even know how the sun came into existence, but i'm pretty sure it's responsible for the wreck.

happy 7th day of christmas kinks, everyone!  your feedback has been awesome so far and i'm so happy you're enjoying it as much as i am.  ily, etc.

i'm also going to prompt you all again since my birthday's in a couple weeks i fell in love with this pic ever since becca showed it to me, and i want everyone in the universe to write fic based on it.  my newest LJ love, [livejournal.com profile] livinglifeloud, is already doing it.

completely fucking gorgeous, tbh )

cabinfic?  holidaygetawayfic?  that interview where ryan talked about taking spence on a holiday to italy or something and this is what they rented?  ANYTHING.

go forth and produce slash, people.  happy holidays.

behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: Our Brilliant Disguise [Day 6 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Rating: R
Pairing: Brendon/Gabe
Kink du Jour: Cross-dressing. (Author's favorite. \o/)
Word Count: ~1,960
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: Brendon's first thought, incongruously, is how Jon, Tom, and Shane would all sacrifice limbs to photograph this moment.
Notes: Vignette 6 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;) (I'd like to say this kink was inspired by the recent Kerrang interview, but I wrote this days before that came out, so I guess Brendon's hacking my documents.)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

None of it was planned. Really, it wasn't. )


behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: Let Us Fall, Let Us Fight [Day 5 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brendon/William
Kink du Jour: A bit o' light s&m.
Word Count: ~1,900
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: "This is what they all warned me about, isn't it?"
Notes: Vignette 5 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

The first time Brendon drinks, he gets sick. The second time, he gets naked. )


behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: Somewhere Hiding Underneath [Day 4 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Kink du Jour: Make-up! Wrist-grabbing! Ryan's hands.
Word Count: ~1,490
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: He knows it's all going to hell at the first touch of the small, spongy eyeshadow tip across his eyelid, Ryan's breath hot on his face and smelling of the little caramels he's taken to popping before shows.
Notes: Vignette 4 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

Under all his angst, Ryan possesses a certain nobility that makes him willing to guinea-pig any questionable new ideas he has for the band. )


behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: Talk Like a Tease [Day 3 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab  
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brendon/Pete
Kink du Jour: Dirty talk (with a side of sleepysex).
Word Count: ~2,380
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: "Everyone thinks it's Ryan I'm looking at, but it's not."  This was pretty much my inspiration. XD Never thought I'd like this pairing, but, not gonna lie, I totally adore how this turned out.
Notes: Vignette 3 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

Being A Glamorous Rock Star Lesson One: Being a rock star is not glamorous. )


behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: Somewhere in the Act [Day 2 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab  
Rating: R
Pairing: Brendon/Spencer
Kink du Jour: Role-playing
Word Count: ~1,900
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: "Who said I was fucking with you?"
Notes: Vignette 2 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

Dude, I don't get it. )


behindthec: (bden kinks)
Title: This Exercise of Self-Abuse [Day 1 of Not The Sin (or, Brendon's 12 Days of Kinks)]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Rating: R
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Kink du Jour: Slight bloodplay. Mostly embarrassed!Ryan.
Word Count: ~1,270
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: Ryan's head drops a little further, but he remains still. "Don't tell anyone."
Notes: Vignette 1 of 12; Bden's ~Sekrit Kink Series based on email/IM/comment requests from this fic (now #7 in the series). One a day through Christmas: here is my holiday gift to my friendslist. ;)

Please visit the master post for a list of all 12 vignettes. You can read them independently, but they are connected, so it's much better to read them in order.

This was no accident; it was a therapeutic chain of events. )


behindthec: (bden kinks)
If anything, he looks embarrassed as he reaches one shaking hand to Brendon's, guides it back to the side of his head, pressing until Brendon's fingers are tangled in the locks, and swallows hard.

"I like it."


jsyk, #9 is one of my favourites in the whole series.  you'll see why soon enough. XD
 
p.s. you guys who make ICONS for my FICS, based on QUOTES from my own freaking VIDEOBLOGS, i just, can't get over it.  you have no idea how big it makes me smile. :D  courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] ryden_fan:

:DDDDD

some fangirly rambling )

in other news, you all know i need a haircut.  i am reluctant to cut it b/c i LIKE the long fringe.  hairinface is sexy, okay.  i just, y'know, can't see.  so this morning i tried sweeping it to the other side, to see if maybe that would help get it out of my face a little.

FAIL!!! )

the number  "1-000-000-0000" just called my cell phone.  i just.  i.

in other news, kink 12 is finished and today i get back to pwf chapter 14. \o/
 
behindthec: (bden kinks)
"Okay, okay.  C'mere."  He points at the middle of the page.  "Can we do these two, then?"
 
"I hate you.  I hate that you know my list.  Hate.  Why did I ever tell you?"
 
"Because I'm trustworthy and understanding and would never use it against you.  Can we?"


ahaha, i love those two more than i should.  i really want to start posting before the 14th, b/c they're READY.  lol.  i'm in the middle of the finale now.  \o/  it's full of angsty goodness, too!  i'm really shockingly happy with this series, and i'm glad you guys made me do it.  i hope you enjoy it as much as i have.

i've been having this great email conversation with [livejournal.com profile] monamour_x, and this bit of her latest one -- idk, it's such a simple concept, and yet, seeing the words put so directly like this really hit me somehow:

"We think something will make us really happy and will be so great and stuff and we’ll strive to achieve that happiness, only to find out that it doesn’t have the same emotional pay-off that we thought it would—it’s the same with people. You think that having people tell you how amazing you are and how much they love you and want to be like you and envy you will make you feel really great, but in the end your left feeling the same way you did before, if not worse, because the people can’t make you happy…YOU have to. And that’s the hardest thing about life—figuring out who you are and accepting who that person is. Otherwise, you won’t ever be happy. Not really."

it's so fucking true it hurts, you know?  (hope you don't mind me quoting you, bb. :)

in other news... ryan seriously just, like, boned all of his male friends in high school, didn't he?  wtf IS this.  and why isn't there a video that shows us what happens next.  look at the BG shirt, and how ryan is all ~rebelling and not wearing one!!  (unless they come in different colors, but i like my theory better.)  <3!ROSS.

(ty sophie. <3333)

oh happy day.  see my twitter for why. XD

eta: you think if we all nag sophie constantly for the rest of the week, we could have the next chapter of this by the weekend?  LET'S DO IT. XD
behindthec: (bden kinks)
It was easier than he thought, walking into the mall in the middle of Redneck Smalltown, USA, bullshitting all the sales clerks' stupid questions (Oh, she's about my size).  It got messier when he realized he was going to have to leave with a bright pink bag recognizable the world round, that he was a ten minute walk from the venue, and there were no cabs in sight.
 
So he did what any self-respecting man secure in his masculinity would do: slipped into the mall bathroom, stripped, shimmied into the top and panties, put his clothes back on, tossed the bag in the trash and ignored his hard-on the whole walk home.



behindthec: (piano)
too lazy to write a blog, so i made you all a videoblog.  complete with bad piano playing (incl a very rough preview of an "arrangement" i'm writing for FOB's "get busy living...").  also i show off pete, do a willy wonka impression, and yell at billy corgan.  and i ask for opinions on my hair.  the end.



also, here, a teaser for #5.


"This is what they all warned me about, isn't it?"
 
He smiles wider, draping an arm across his face to block out the light.  "Nah.  I went easy on you."
 
Brendon chuckles, his throat dry and hoarse.  "I like you."


i like him too, bden. XD

ALSO, [livejournal.com profile] ryden_fan  is my new best friend because she made me THIS, which is one of my favourite clips from any interview ever, as well as a QUOTE from the walkie i wrote this summer. \o/!!!


behindthec: (bden kinks)
the votes are in: and thus, so is breathplay.  this is YOUR xmas gift, after all. ;)

teaser for kink 4 (and this is my favourite paragraph in the whole damn scene; way to like, spoil it for you guys; whatever).

He swallows and says, "Close your eyes."
 
Brendon does, only now realizing he hadn't quite braced himself for this, having to hand over this much control to Ryan and still expect his own body to behave.  He knows it's all going to hell at the first touch of the small, spongy eyeshadow tip across his eyelid, Ryan's breath hot on his face and smelling of the little caramels he's taken to popping before shows.  It's not until Ryan starts whispering instructions -- "Lift your chin a bit; good," guiding Brendon's face with his free hand, his fingertip sliding across the sensitive skin underneath his eyes to blend the shades -- that Brendon realizes he could get addicted to this harder than heroin: Ryan easing him into full surrender, an implicit request for Brendon to come apart in his hands.

i'll be honest, that image even makes ME shiver, okay.  original inspiration, obv:


oh hey so recently, as like a try-anything-once dare to myself, i read three things i never ever wanted to: mpreg, genderswap, and a kink that grosses me the fuck out (golden showers).  AND I LIVED!!! \o/  it was a nasty ride, though, even though they were ryden and all really well-written.  yay, i have balls!  (but mostly ew.)

also, way to out your frontman, smith. :DDDDDDDD  my squee/keymashing over this interview was exhausted in conversation with becca, so all i have left is :DDDDDDD.

oh, and can i just say HOW MUCH I AM FUCKING IN LOVE WITH "WINTER PASSING".  it gives me chills every time and could singlehandedly take me into a bilvy/TAI renaissance.

speaking of bilvy: # 5 and 10. ;)

behindthec: (bden kinks)
not gonna lie; i never thought i'd like them but the brendon/pete is now officially my favourite of the series so far.

Brendon smiles, rolling onto his back as Pete tosses him his pants and pulls himself off the bed.

He grins at Brendon's sleepy, post-orgasmic stupidness, one hand on the doorframe.  "I'm totally writing a song about this."

mood inspiration (no really):

(dec 16.)

p.s. i've had a few requests for breathplay and like, i LOVE it, for myself, when i'm drunk and wild, but i don't know how well i could write it.  it's a huge trust thing and can be very dangerous.  but just, god, ryan's HANDS.  asekosufpaou3w4poa3iwjao.  idk.  what do you guys think?
(p.s.s. never do it when you're drunk and wild.  it's not safe.  i'm a bad example.)
p.p.s.s. ...on second thought, brendon has really nice hands too, and i'm just picturing how they'd look on THIS.

and now i'm creaming my pants.  goodbye.

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Colin

May 2009

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