behindthec: (tomrad)
go read 'Cause None of Us Were Angels by [ profile] atomichatred82. awesome. that's sort of the kind of realboy porn i wish i could write, for those who have been all "WHY DON'T YOU LIKE YOUR PORN?!"

exciting news: [ profile] ivesia19 is going with me to see the cabbies on 4/18 AND fall out boy in atlanta the week after! \o/ EPIC. i so rarely meet LJ peeps IRL. anyone else going? we can form a coalition. or something.

random thanks to sophie for putting up with my emo. i love you.

i haven't written any of chapter 7. just a heads-up. i think i need a few days off. that was a lot of sex, and there's a lot more coming. lol. but you can has this, which will appear:

1 new message from the walkman
so who tops? spence adn i have a bet going. pls respond. love jon

i love how shameless he is. haven't decided the boys' response (if any). hey, i want some porn. get on that, internet. even if it's colin/william. (see twitter.) i wrote you lots of sex, now write me some. i know at least half a dozen of you who are in the midst of writing me some and always put it off. don't make me start naming names. :P

behindthec: (slash)
recs )

if brendon had a safeword, what would it be? )

who wants to go see the cab with me on 4/18? )

i'm reading all your comments (and fixing my brilliant typos); big smiles. i'll get around to responding soon. ♥

ETA: people keep talking in comments about how they have so much trouble finding stuff they like on SATD or comms in general -- do you guys not know about DCR??  it lists only completed stuff, it compiles everything that's posted in comms on a daily basis, and there are recs posted every day.  it's so much easier to just look quickly and find something you like.  it's the only place i go ever to find reading material.  i only post on SATD 'cause it's like, all we have, panic comm-wise, and so people who haven't friended me can get on board if they want.  *shrug* just wanted to spread the word!

behindthec: (tomrad)
like, fuck them for not coming to atlanta.




i didn't find out late; i'm just reacting late, i guess.  there was this moment ten minutes ago where i went from "god, i wish i could see them" to "DAMN IT I HAVE TO SEE THEM."  anyway, i want to go.  bad.  it's fucking empires, man.  i've waited long enough.  (AND DID I MENTION WILLIAM AND TOM ARE TOURING TOGETHER???)  it's a 3-4 hr drive for me.  who else wants to be impulsive and meet me there? share a hotel, get up to some shenanigans, party all night?  or sleep, whatever, i'm down with anything.  COME ON, I'LL BUY YOU BOOZE IF YOU'RE UNDERAGE WE ONLY LIVE ONCE.

email me if you're interested.  we'd need to wait until the empires dates are confirmed (i saw bilvy a month ago at the now-famed eddie's attic show; i'm not going just for him), but hey.

p.s. your requests win.  i'm totally writing the brencer BJ/clubbing prequel to pccf. \o/  (not now, but at some point.)

i think keri and i are gonna make y'all a vid in a bit.  i may be persuaded to do my gollum impression.  and my impression of the moviefone guy.  if i can get keri to sing her JT parody that makes absolutely no sense at all but makes me laugh every time she sings it.

behindthec: (bilvy)

(luckily seahorse is distracting enough that you will hopefully overlook how shitty and dweeby i look.)

not only due to this picture, but this was possibly the best show i've ever seen in my life.

first of all, bilvy was eyefucking crawford the whole night, mainly when seahorse was between/in front of them so he wouldn't notice.  also, turns out crawford is even sexier doing acoustic solos than he is on electric.  i think i came in my pants.  so, can't really blame bill (WHO IS SO TOTALLY BONING HIM EVERY NIGHT, OH MY GOD, WHERE'S THE FIC, I'LL WRITE IT MYSELF IF I HAVE TO).  then they all covered "baby one more time" as well as an n'sync song, and seahorse and bilvy told the story of how they were at a restaurant the other day and their stoned waitress was convinced bill was johnny depp.  so finally seahorse is all "GIVE IT UP FOR JOHNNY DEPP!" and then they went into a series that concluded with "give it up for prince caspian" (!) and finally "GIVE IT UP FOR JACK DAWSON!" because bilvy was dressed like motherfucking jack dawson.  bilvy kept telling us how much he loved doing shows like this, and he took requests, and he told sisky to stop smoking "cancer sticks," and he said hi to keri, and he told the story behind how he wrote "eastbound traffic" and he talked about scimeca and went on a mushy rant about how much he loves sisky and IT WAS THE BEST SHOW EVER, OKAY.  EVER.  william was, is, and always will be my favourite band boy.  i have such respect for him as a person.  he is grateful and humble and down to earth and incredible to the fans and i hope he knows how much we appreciate it.

could've done without the mindblowing OVERLOAD of obnoxious screaming-fainting-flailing teenage girls (more than usual i swear omg), but.  hey.

i couldn't figure out where to wait around afterwards b/c people were grouping up all over the damn place, so i gave up.  i got a pic with him last time, so it's okay.  but next time i want a pic with ian just to see if i can contain my boner when he puts his arm around me.  HIS HANDS, THEY ARE MAGIC.

pics here (that's the public link; you have to log in to comment; some ppl were confused about that last time).

vids here, there are six, not complete songs (except for "the test" and pls note how bill and ian ~embrace at the end), but hey, i've only got a 250mb memory card.

i ran into a few friends but i wish you all could've been there, especially you overseas peeps because it's not fair you don't get tours like this.  you should, and i wish you'd all been there with me.  <3

behindthec: (bilvy)
from what i remember, i think a few of you are going to be at bilvy's show in atlanta on saturday. \o/ i've never met anyone from bandom IRL, so it'd be awesome if anyone wanted to meet or hang out. i'll probably be in standard concert attire: phantom planet hoodie with my mikey fuckin way shirt underneath, lulz. come say hi if you want!

now that pwf is over, i'm going to be getting back to the rywalk i started last summer. premise: ryan breaks up with keltie for independent reasons and goes to drown his sorrows with jon in chi-town. it'll be posted in 3 parts. here, have a snippet.  drunk ryan and jon are amazing.  and by amazing i mean stupid.

Know how I know you're gay? )

behindthec: (bilvy)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY [ profile] bunniesontoast!!!!! :D
thank you, thank you, thank you, for a year of smiles, jailbait snuggles, fic, friendship,
and seahorse debates.  i am very grateful to have you in my life. <3

everyone go write her fic; i would, but, my arms. :/  bb, i wish i could take you with me to the acoustic show next saturday. :(  (is anyone else gonna be there?)  if you (that goes for all of you guys!) have any song requests, b/c i think he's been taking them, and i plan to videotape a lot, possibly use keri's fancy nikon... LET ME KNOW.  can't make any promises, but we'll see.  i'm most definitely requesting ATLMS for myself if i get the chance.

prolly won't respond to comments this time; busy working and trying to finish 19 and rest my arms (yes, all at once).  leave helen a birthday wish; she stalks my comments like whoa. ;)

ily bb!!!!!! <3
behindthec: (patd is for lovers)
panic at the disco, atlanta, 11/4/08.


- "when the day met the night"
- "shout"

chapter 11 is done and will be up tomorrow. :)

behindthec: (patd is for lovers)

so i saw panic last night.

i've been going through a lot of emotional shit lately, regarding my life and fandom and what i want out of life and myself and just, lots of really bad SHIT, so that affected my experience, but  i won't go into that part of it.  it was a great show.  it's panic.  it's always a great show.

highlights )

working on 11 today.  hope to have it up by the end of the week.  your theories have been absolutely delightful and i can promise you i'm actually working one of them in, so keep them coming, i'll see what else i can get in. ;)

love you guys.

ETA: we're awesome, the end.

ETA II: so i'm like 2/3 through chapter 11 and like, i can't stop smiling.  i hope you guys enjoy this one, because i totally am. :)


behindthec: (alex peekaboo)
this is gonna sound waaaay more egotistical than i want it to, lol, but doesn't this look like the kind of pic shane would take? (only with like, a real camera and ~skillz.)

more pics from the ATL show... no good ones really, sorry, but hey.

chapter 9 has begun.  flashback's done, and so am i for now.  off to learn a new rocket summer song.

behindthec: (alex "ryan's boyfriend" greenwald)

pics from the best night i've had in bandom, ever.

- video of part of "ship lost at sea" ... the lighting wasn't very good, so i didn't bother with much videoing, but still.  my favourite song.  gotta represent.


i'll cut my fangirly squeeage, though. XD )

anyway, i'm off today, so lemme get some chores done and i will totally work some on chapter 8, promise.

behindthec: (gabilliam)
PICS: the academy is..., 10/2/08, the masquerade, atlanta.   \o/

some are blurry (i was testing out a new setting on my camera), but there are a few that are really awesome.

totally called in sick today, but my body was like, "hey, it's 5:30, let's wake up NAO!"  so, fail either way.  off to starbucks with the wife. <3

p.s. i need a jon/bden flashback for chapter 8.  ideas?  (i'll accept flashback ideas for any pairing, actually.  my mind is kind of blanking atm.)


sorry it's sideways for the first third.  i always forget i can't turn my camera when videotaping.  loser.

behindthec: (gabilliam)

the best part is that i snapped the pic at the wrong time so we BOTH look like total creeps on crack. <3 <3 <3

he was so fucking nice i just, guh.  also, funny.  and williamy.  and he thought i was a boy.  which, i don't even get, b/c i wasn't cross-dressing, and hello, makeup.  william, you're a dumbass.  and i love you so hard.  in fact, i've loved you since the moment i saw you in the EWH video (likely because you were way hotter in that than you are in this pic, ha).  thank you for a year of a million smiles, and a night of a million more.



behindthec: (slash H/S)
you know what really, really, bothers me, but mostly just makes me laugh really hard?

GSF that is rated, like, PG.

group. SEX. fic.


guise? never, ever write me GSF that is rated PG (not that you have, i'm just saying). not saying anything against the writers, i just. i'm the kinda dude who can't make it without the porn payoff at the end, y'know? i'm a fifteen-year-old boy at heart, i really am. money shots ftw.

that being said, hai, everyone pls write panic GSF. there is never enough.

an example of GSF that is utterly perfection, what [profile] falling_words wrote a couple weeks ago.  did i srsly never plug that?  jesus.  it's like, more amazing every time i read it.  (she's even writing me a sequel. ;)

in other news, there is this graffiti along the highway on my way to work that says "ILLS OUT". i have passed it every day for six months and i've never really known what it means, so i've always taken it to mean, cast out your ill thoughts, your bad vibes, etc., face the day fresh. and every day i would pass it and look at it and take a deep breath and try to do just that. it was really, really cool. even if it was BS and i'd forget about it a few minutes later; it was a good start to the day and it made me feel positive and energised, and that's kind of stupid but oh well.

on the way to the keewaf concert last week, i finally pointed it out to keri and she said, "i think it means 'illegals'."

...well. obviously.

now i can't look at it without feeling a little sick in my stomach.

perspective... is like. insanely, terrifyingly powerful, isn't it?

warped photos I

warped photos II
behindthec: (me - flirting is the path)
i know i never update butttttttttttttt. i'm procrastinating.

so i'm being shamelessly lazy this morning, making all time low macros (see facebook album) and watching panic vids/interviews on youtube and drooling over a) the sexiness of bden's voice, b) the complete obviousness of the reality of ryden, and c) a clip of bden doing whatever you would consider the piano equivalent of shredding. just... fucking tearin' it up. oh god. i'm pretty sure he was covering a dresden dolls song. and you know how amanda plays. fuckin' shit. DD songs already make me horny as it is even without bden playing them.

i think we all know by now, and i know i say this about EVERYTHING, but boys playing piano really is my ultimate lifelong hard-on. like... beyond expression. just. GAH. and bden is BDEN, not just any boy. so. i'm pretty sure i'm going to pass out at their show.

i'm also squeeing b/c i saw a live performance of that green gentleman on youtube and it was THE SHIT.

it should be noted that i am so utterly in love with pretty. odd. that i have been unable to listen to any other music since i got it (except DC's "stolen" b/c we were kind of writing with it). i have never felt this way about an album in my life. it's mind-blowing. every time i try to put on another cd, i just start listening and then think, "wtf. this is inadequate. this is not pretty. odd." LOLZ.

so needless to say, my excitement over seeing panic exactly three weeks from today is rising steadily and exponentially, especially now that they've switched the venue to the masquerade which is a tiny intimate little place in which i saw cobra last month and got so close to the stage that gabe grabbed my hand and sang right into my eyes a few times.

and it is also the place i'm seeing all time low and rocket summer ON THE 17th. been waiting to see ATL ever since i saw/discovered them last october at the boys like girls show. pretty much fell in love with alex the second he came on stage, before i even knew his name.

and BRYCE. fucking BRYCE. GAH. i got into their music simply for the fact that i knew i'd be seeing them, and then i just fell in love with it all. though i'll never look at him without blushing after reading that one brylliam fic. (speaking of, if anyone has a link to it, send to me pls??? i didn't save it for some reason: it's the one where william is a total sex-crazed psycho who's obsessed with seducing him simply for the sake of corrupting something so pure. it's HEARTBREAKING and the end is just horrible, but it's beautiful and amazing and (#*&()#*.)

madness swirls in my soul right now. happy, happy madness.

1. patiently waiting for bilvybot update.

2. less than patiently waiting for riley update. b/c riley = cutest baby ever, and i don't even like babies, and now i'm all like, "omg gabe pls have my babies" and ignoring the physical impossibility of this.

3. keri works today. i'm supposed to be cleaning (oh yeah, look, i'm vacuuming right now as i type) and looking over my fucking benefits BINDER for my new job - not a pamphlet or brochure, a fucking THREE-RING BINDER. ughhhhhhhhhh. yes pls, let me sign up for you to extract exorbitant amounts of money from my paycheck so i can have crap health coverage the co-pays of which i still won't be able to afford anyway. yay.

4. I SEE PANIC AT THE DISCO IN THREE WEEKS DID I MENTION THAT. yes. i did. sorry. never seen them before. pretty much dying.

5. really, really want the clandestine collective ( to do "pretty. odd." after this one b/c okay, hello, and also, i am absolutely dying, like, squirming and antsy and desperate, to have a title as amazing as "little deaths in musical beds."

(...we all know it's the french slang for orgasm, right??)

okay. i'm stalling. i'll clean. i'll do yoga. i'll read my fucking benefits textbook.

i forget who discovered this, but, okay (I'M GOING I'M GOING, ONE MORE THING), put on northern downpour but only listen to the left speaker. set your balance so it's all on the left or if you're listening on an iPod, only put in the left earpiece. for the first couple lines you hear bden's voice very nearly a cappella and it will just simply melt your soul. and then, THEN, in the rest of the first verse, you hear only him and the piano, which is fantastic for me, who is trying to LEARN northern downpour on the piano (it's super easy, fyi).

the piano knows something i don't know, however... i'm learning that has about eighty chord changes. fun. indeed the piano apparently knows LOTS of things i don't.

hmm, what else can i stall with.

i wonder how many people would shitflip if i "forgot" to post the last chapter of FM&MK tomorrow. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. /evil.

that reminds me, i need to work on the sequel today. william and tom are pissing me off like whoa. i'm not speaking to them anymore. i'm half ready to pawn off the sequel on someone else. anyone wanna write it? :P

totally finishing learning intermission today on the piano. learning exact notes entirely by ear = slight challenge.

YAY, it's lunchtime!!!!! MORE STALLING.

p.s. now that i am mostly over the initial heartbreaking trauma of the haircut(tm), i would like to suggest the organisation of funeral arrangements for william eugene beckett's late hair.
behindthec: (my gf can beat up your gf)
1. Boys Like Girls concert = PSO#*$U(_PSU*F(#$% SO AWESOME OMFG.

2. All Time Low (opening band for BLG) - SO FUCKING AWESOME I AM GOING TO MARRY ALEX GASKARTH. "I want to be inside you" (what he said to us onstage, not the name of a song :P) is still playing in my head. /heterofangirly. Also I have their cell phone number now. Don't ask. Oh yeah, baby. (I am also crushing on Brendon Urie at the moment, even though he stole my hair, but that's another day and another cup of coffee. P!ATD = love.)

3. FALL OUT BOY, PLAIN WHITE T'S, AND CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR - NOVEMBER 3, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. I will stop using caps now.

5. I am so wearing my black pinstripe Converses to Keri's brother's wedding next week. That, and a black Express suit with a dress shirt and tie - because, identifying as a boy now and going by Colin, I refuse to wear anything feminine - except for the emo look, which is very complicated because for me it's girl-trying-to-look-like-boy-trying-to-look-like-girl. Anyway, I look SO FUCKING HOT in the suit, you would just come all over yourself, trust me. And Keri is wearing this beautiful silvery dress with matching heels... we are going to be so gorgeous together it's really kind of disgusting. (I might make Alex wear a similar dress when we get married.)

6. Oh, yeah, by the way, I now have - A REAL JOB. I am AN EDITOR for My pic and bio should be up on their editors page within a few days (I'll be listed as Erin, as someone else was already Danielle... I thought about being Colin, but I couldn't figure out a way to make my bio entirely non gender specific - I'm good, but not that good :P); please do take a moment to check them out - they have "centres" in several continents, have been around for ages, and all of their editors have like Master's degrees and 20 years of experience, WTF AM I DOING THERE I AM SO INTIMIDATED!!!!!!!!!!! But disgustingly flattered.

So yeah. I FINALLY HAVE AN ANSWER to "And what are you hoping to do now that you've graduated?" Instead of "Oh, I dunno, hopefully something in editing" (read: "Congratulations; you are the 100th person to ask me this; you die now"), I get to say well ACTUALLY, I'm an EDITOR.

It won't be full time right away, and it's not wickedly lucrative, though it will probably be more so in the future... the main thing is that it's going to look fantastic on my resume, and after a few years I can probably get a more high-paying position and put Keri through grad school, which is the ultimate goal.

Anyway. I'm still in the Writing Center too for the time being, because I love it here... they somehow just talked me into presenting at the SWCA (Southeastern Writing Center Association) Conference in February, AGAIN... they all but begged me. They'd already COME UP WITH MY DISCUSSION FOR THE PANEL. LOL. That's what I get for submitting to their *other* begging, for me to be the Outreach Coordinator. Seriously, I bet if I'd asked Dr. Odom to get down on her knees and beg me, she would have. How do I get talked into this shit?!

Oh well. All expenses paid; awesome peeps going; could be worse.

Oh, and guess what? I've been cross-dressing regularly when we go out (ace bandage = love, and really painful lack of ability to breathe, but meh), and it's working. Little girls flirt with me and I even got called a stupid fag by some jackass at the mall! (See my LJ bio for more info on my "psychological experiment" and getting hit on online by gorgeous emo boys.) Life is sweet.

Also, in true emo fashion, I am getting my lip pierced in a couple weeks (have to wait till after the wedding so Keri doesn't have to "hear about it," LOL). My friend Nicole and I are both going in for piercings because we are pussies and need someone else with us. Heh. I am already assuming it's going to hurt like a mother fucker, so it can't be any worse than what I'm fearing. What is least appealing is the fact that I probably won't be able to kiss for days, even weeks. When I got the second holes in my ears, they were sensitive for MONTHS.

I just bought Keri the most awesome birthday cards. I can't wait to show her. We have been having so much fun lately. We've recently worked through what has been a big issue for us, and it's a wonderful feeling. We've been watching bad porn and awesome videos on YouTube of our favourite bands performing live, and working out a lot, which is great (I have abs to die for), and singing, and plotting our mock music videos. We have an official band name now, too: Boys With Instruments (the origin of this can be found on my Facebook profile).

I love that I love her a million times more than I did three years ago, and I love how that keeps being all exponential as time goes on. <3

ALSO, (!!!!), my parents are buying me a 22-inch moniter (hi-def with SHIZNIT SPEAKERS) for my computer for my new job, AND I got a new ergonomic keyboard, AND they're getting me a real office chair. P#*O$&P(*U(P#*$.

Guess what I'm going to do: post this and NOT CHECK FOR TYPOS. Ugh. Let's see if I can do it. (ETA: Couldn't.)

Also, recent photos:


behindthec: (Default)

May 2009

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