behindthec: (piano)
Title: Scratch My Phosphorus Skin [1/1]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan; slight GSF vibe
Rating: R for drug use
Words: ~1,320
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: They all did it, once upon a time (last time; no fairy tales ever), side by side, warm skin brushing as they passed the joints back and forth.
Notes: This is a flashback-y snapshot from the PCCF 'verse, inspired by a passage from the final chapter, but you don't have to read the fic to understand this. Couldn't get this out of my head once [livejournal.com profile] selectivelyurie brought it up in the Q&A. Set a few days before the infamous kiss. If the drugs bother you, know that in my world they were only ever this reckless at the cabin. ;) This is abstract and bizarre and written in the middle of the night and has no real meaning, so watch for pointlessness. Title from the scrapped cabin songs.

Ryan's skin in moonlight is a natural A minor scale. )

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Words: ~93,000
Summary:  Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't.
Notes: Post-cabin cabin fic.  I realize how morbid my summary sounds, like he got attacked by a rapist or something.  I promise this'll make you smile lots with minimal angst: just boys being their stupid selves.  I've never written epic straight-up Brendon/Ryan, so this is a treat. Epic thanks to [livejournal.com profile] redorchids for sharing my brain/soul contributing several scenes, endlessly brainstorming the last few chapters with me, and creating the official trailer.
 _____________________

Brendon thinks maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers,
and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together.


Chapter 1      |    Chapter 2     |     Chapter 3     |     Chapter 4

Chapter 5     |    Chapter 6     |     Chapter 7     |     Chapter 8


behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [8/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab and [livejournal.com profile] redorchids
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] redorchids, obviously. Several scenes, half the outline, shameless PWF refs, and all original lyrics are hers, as well as the amazing vid she made for this fic, linked at the end. Thanks also to [livejournal.com profile] unluckykitty for the YouTube screenshot photo, and [livejournal.com profile] j_plash for the bountiful flesh-horn epic badfic. <3
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together.
Notes: Scene intro lyrics are from Panic, Snow Patrol, Empires, and The Killers. Thanks to everyone for all your support/feedback. I learned a lot during this, but the concept of the story has been very simple. It's about love, and the tough decision we must make regarding whether it's enough, whether it will prevail in the end. I've wondered many times throughout the course of writing this, and for awhile, lost faith. I'll let you judge for yourself where I ended up. Thanks for joining me on this journey.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

It's not a series of moments, just one. )

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [7/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] siubhlach, [livejournal.com profile] taraangelx, [livejournal.com profile] takkatakkatakka; a very special thanks to [livejournal.com profile] redorchids, who co-wrote the last sex scene with me when I was ready to give up on this damn fic altogether. The lyrics and most of the good ideas in here are hers as well.
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together.
Notes: I hope you guys enjoy these last two chapters because I'm not going to be writing anything for awhile. I'm fucking wiped out. Anyway, Brendon's fascination with portable toilets belongs to me and me alone. For those doubting the boys' basketball skills, I suggest taking a look at this, and also their clothes in the drunken jailbait sleepover pics.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

It's official: there is only one thing in the world better than sex. )

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [6/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: Everyone who brainstormed with me here; everyone who's been supportive lately (you know who you are, writin' me fic and shit ♥); [livejournal.com profile] ivesia19 for this; and above all, [livejournal.com profile] minus_four for her honesty and for letting me bitch about this forever. (AND FOR RILONX.)
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together.
Notes: The soundtrack's key for this one, though the tracks are linked in-text, too. Lyrics belong to Radiohead. For the record, I wrote my scene before this was posted. I still hate parts of this (they're total disgusting girls; they'll get their testosterone back next chapter), but I hope it was worth the wait.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

When Brendon wakes up, he's pretty sure he's dead. )

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [5/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] alphabetatoast for cello!fic; [livejournal.com profile] redorchids for the beautiful lyrics (more to come); [livejournal.com profile] livinglifeloud and [livejournal.com profile] stereotypeloser for nitpicking the French with me.
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together. Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't.
Notes: Hey, try to guess which Traumatizing Sex Tale was stolen from Colin's real life! Anyway, hold your patience a little longer. Chapter 6 is... something-er. By the way, this now exists.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

Maybe he's going crazy. Ryan always said he would. )

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [4/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] bunniesontoast for cello lessons, [livejournal.com profile] the_randomist for Spencer's mom, and everyone who ~contributed. ;)
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together. Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't.
Notes: This chapter is just made of eighteen kinds of ridiculous; I struggled constantly, and I still think it's way too indulgent; I felt like I kept losing focus from the greater picture; but I suspect you'll enjoy it anyway (and in my defense, they are drunk as all fuck). The badfic featured here was written graciously by these lovely people. Other refs are linked in the text. You'll definitely want to visit the soundtrack for this one. P.S. This now exists. Oh, lord.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

Am I in love with Brendon? )

behindthec: (tomrad)

had an unusually lovely day, filled with meditation and browsing of zen books at b&n (as you may've noticed via twitter) and buying a hot-pink harness for pete (who is a pretty pretty princess) so we could take him out in this gorgeous weather.

FIC UPDATE: today in the car i made the executive decision that my next project is going to be william/tom. i'm going to base it on the fm&mk sequel that i will never write, b/c fm&mk was my first fic and it was so embarrassingly mediocre; i don't want to be associated with it anymore. but i love the premise for the sequel so much that i'm going to write it as a present-day fic on its own, leading up to the current academy/empires tour, possibly. i am so, so excited i get to use the plot; it's kind of awesome. so, look for that after pccf. i'm pretty sure my title's still going to be overexposed.

anonymous comment on ch 3 sez: I know you're a big fan of adding canon (o hai Ayn Rand reference!) to your fic so I felt like I should mention that Brendon is actually a big fan of Silverchair! Ryan has said before that Brendon has been listening to them since the early days and they both have mentioned loving the last album. :)

FML. they would love the last album; they're so gay, jesus. i love how it's anonymous, too. that's totally ross stalkin' me again, tryin' to make sure i don't portray him inaccurately. :P (i'm impressed this is my only mistake. i'm good.)

drunk vid 1 and drunk vid 2 are up. they're so lame; we're barely drunk.  but, i'm in my camouflage boxer briefs, so.

on a side note, [livejournal.com profile] selectivelyurie and i have been emailing each other pictures of koalas and plotting our epic panic! at the zoo AU in capslock. it's made of so many kinds of win. we're talking pete as the crazy reptile dude, brendon and jon as zookeeper bffs in little steve irwin shorts and sneakers, and ryan and spence as snooty businessmen in italian loafers who come to rescue the zoo from the shit economy and ~revolutionize the way it's run, which includes new rules that everyone hates (like brendon and jon not being allowed to sing/play guitar for the animals every night). brendon has instant heart eyes for ryan despite ryan's assholery, and jon and spencer wind up in a very physical, supply closet-based relationship, while pete pines over patrick the zoo gift shop owner, and brendon attempts to give ryan a koala as a courtship gift, which ryan declines.

off to take schmexy pics of keri now. don't worry, i'll share. ;)


behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [3/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] stereotypeloser
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together. Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't.
Notes: The boys' quotes come from here, but there are whole books about it if you're interested. And I vetoed the poll results; sorry. I should've explained the scene in question is meant to be sexy; I kinda forgot that when I was thinking up other songs. But I think it worked. P.S. Everyone wave hi to Ryro; he's reading this fic.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

Something carries Brendon to the kitchen, but it's not his feet. )

behindthec: (platform 9 3/4)
this is how bored i am tonight: i'm reading my old, unposted harry potter fic. oh god, my LIFE.

i miss harry potter fandom. i was never involved in it socially; HP fandom was so large it intimidated me. but i read a looot, for like a year. i wrote one and posted it on ff.net (this was years ago, okay, don't judge) and had done with it, but i started several other fics, kept them to myself, and then fell into bandom. here's an excerpt from the only one that doesn't make me cringe; my writing has improved immensely since this time, but this fic wasn't too bad. if sirius/regulus squicks you, you suck back off.  even though there's nothing overtly slashy here, just brotherly love.

(there was a time the idea of brothercest squicked me too; if you're open-minded, this is the one that converted me, left me boneless and breathless; i never looked at the world the same way.)  (eta: no, wait!  the first one i EVER read was this, and i think my jaw was on the floor for about an hour afterwards.  i felt dirty and thrilled and changed forever.  \o/ brothercest!)

If anyone tries to tell you I don’t love you, they don’t know what love is. )

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [2/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] j_plash for finding the interview for me originally, [livejournal.com profile] selectivelyurie for finding it again because I'm lazy, [livejournal.com profile] alphabetatoast for helping me pick a song, and [livejournal.com profile] redorchids, just 'cause. :)
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together. Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't.
Notes: Thanks for the overwhelming response to chapter 1. ♥ I realized after the fact that I subconsciously modeled "town" after my city's own historic square, if you want a visual; and some pics I took myself. And please ignore Brendon's philistine opinion on the CD referenced; it's gorgeous. Also, this may prove helpful.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

When you look back on something that changed your world... )

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [1/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] livinglifeloud, for letting me throw this at her piece by piece, for actually telling me when a line sucked, and for helping me with the most obstinate passage I've ever attempted to write. She has earned my firstborn, or something. Also, [livejournal.com profile] minus_four, because today is her birthday. :D Go give her orgasms love.
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together.  Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't.
Notes: Please visit the master post. Also, the interview I reference is indeed real, but I can't remember where it's from.

Some people say a single moment can change your life. Some people, but not Brendon. )

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Five Times Ryan Tries To Propose (And The One Time He Does)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: PG-13
Words: ~4,800
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] livinglifeloud, for my V-Day present. <3
Summary: Ryan is maybe kind of a colossal idiot.
Notes: Happy Valentine's, all. This is especially dedicated to those who are lonely and miserable today (like me!). And I promise, no more distractions from PCCF. This just came to me last night while Keri and I were at Panda Express (why do I always write fic after eating at greasy restaurants?). Thanks to everyone who gave ideas here. ♥!

The night Brendon joins the band, they pack into a booth at Panda Express and devour sesame chicken like the apocalypse is on the horizon. )

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Colin

May 2009

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