behindthec: (rywalk)
thanks for your kind words on 4; i hate the chapter a lot less now. <3 oh, and this is overdue: welcome, to the new peeps who have friended me over the last few months. glad to have you! sorry i can't friend back at this point; my flist is overwhelming as it is, now that i've actually started reading it.  but i rarely, rarely lock posts, so you're not missing anything.  also, any remaining lurkers (i know there's still a bucket of you, you can't hide :P), feel free to come out at any time.  i don't bite.  (unless you like that sort of thing, in which case all you have to say is how hard. ;)

the event went well at work; raised more $ than we'd expected. \o/  i ♥ my job. and i never, ever take for granted how valuable it is that i can say that, that i can love what i do, even if it's not prestigious or lucrative. it's such a blessing, in the rest of my life's chaos. and even to feel so valued at work, to feel job security in this day and age... i'm so lucky, and grateful.

watched the simpsons (#12 of this season i think; the eviction ep) on hulu with keri in bed this morning while pete knocked coffee beans off the dresser (don't ask) and ate them. fuckin' hilarious. i love that show like breathing. best way to spend a saturday morning. i'll seriously cry a motherfuckin' river when it ever goes off the air. (and hey, [ profile] stereotypeloser, apparently i haven't seen every ep! LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AGAIN! \o/ hey come visit me, we'll have a simpsons marathon just like in chapter 4. ;)

goin' for brunch at my parents' now, and my dad's gonna help me set up my 401k. WHEN DID I GET THIS OLD AND BORING.

so, purpose for this post, PROMPT ME! )

behindthec: (piano)
on control. )

today i get to write pccf's first big fight. so excited! there's nothing i love better than brendon and ryan arguing; wtf is wrong with me. thanks to everyone who suggested songs; i'm kind of a loser; i realized too late that i really needed the song to be sexy on some level, so i couldn't pick something redonk like "womanizer." but the scene turned out great; i think you'll like. ch 3 should be up in the next few days.

go read my latest twitter. i can't stop laughing at myself. as becca would say, i'm such a goober.

also, [ profile] ivesia19 is my homeboy. or something. but she wrote this, and GUH, so go read it, and help me on my mission to drag her out of her OTP prison. XD

behindthec: (ryden.)
if... hypothetically... brendon were to get fed up/offended/appalled enough by ryan's ~dance moves (the ones he busts out when he thinks no one's watching), and decides to teach him how to properly Shake. It., much to ryan's protest, what song would you like him to use?

because right now i'm stuck on "bounce, bounce," which makes me giggle a lot, which i love, so. vote.

[Poll #1359475]

tell me you all saw pete and patrick and ellen singing "womanizer." oh, my heart. i love bandom. (don't even get me started on ross's twitter. i want pages and pages of genfic all about ryan's faily life.)

feeling a bit better today. i bought me some furniture (apparently i'm a girl, if shopping makes me feel better), hung out with my mom, ate a lot of food, read my book of awesome. life is okay, today. it'll be better once i finish my dumbass work and can get back to chapter 3. ily all.
behindthec: (emo pride)
Resistance comes in many forms: not wanting to sit in meditation, choosing to spin off into our mental world, suppressing or avoiding emotional pain, finding fault with ourselves and our lives.  No matter what form it takes, resistance brings no peace.  Whatever we resist we actually strengthen, because we solidify it, empowering it to stay in our life.

But the opposite is also true.  When we begin to cultivate the willingness to be with life as it is, regardless of whether we like it, our relationship to what we've avoided begins to change.  (Bayda 34)

if i'm not around as regularly for awhile, not updating fic as quickly as normal, or if i'm shit at answering comments/emails/texts/calls... it's because i'm working on this.

last night i had a breakdown of sorts, which is nothing new, but this is the first time i've forced myself to actually do something about it.  today i called in sick and i'm going to sit and read this book again, because i can see i desperately need it.

behindthec: (ryden.)
so i guess now's as good a time as any to announce it: i'm going to be starting a semi-epic ryden fic fairly soon.

some emo, then the premise, and a rough snippet from my notes. )

behindthec: (bden kinks)

...the small things.

you are all teaching me that, and you don't know how grateful i am.

going to work on the rywalk now, because it's what i love, and tomorrow i'm going to the yoga class on campus because i love that too, and then i'm going to see bilvy because i love him too.  i'm going to hang out with keri tonight because i love her, and i'm going to keep texting ally because i love her, and i'm going to keep exchanging spyro pics with sophie because i love her too, and to hell with anything else.

i'll get there.

ETA: OHMYGODBRENDONURIE.  OH.  MY.  GOD.  (thanks to [ profile] falling_words.)  CAN'T.  STOP.  LAUGHING.

behindthec: (emo pride)
the meme is usually for 10, but i'm doing 20 because i need 20. this is entirely for me; i really kind of needed this tonight, but feel free to ask about any of them; however, there are a few i won't answer.

20 things you wish you could say to 20 different people )

behindthec: (flirting)
there's porn in my inbox, my entire apartment smells like booze and sex, and i'm pretty sure i still have 3 people's come on my hand.


my shining moment was the 3-person shower during which i begged my friend to knock me up.  "come on, man, you don't even have to pay child support!"  oh colin.  oh, and then we forced keri to watch two girls one cup because she was the only one in the room who hadn't seen it.  turns out it's HILARIOUS when you're drunk.  "IT JUST LOOKS LIKE CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM!"  "BUT IT ISN'T!!!!"  lolz.

i don't feel old at all like i was sure i would.  i feel vibrant, well fucked, and well loved.  life is good.

17 is done.  just a matter of typing it now.  meh.  arms.  gimme time.

behindthec: (emo pride)

in the counter-spirit of thanksgiving...

i want )
behindthec: (platform 9 3/4)
last night keri slept out in the living room with pete so i could get some sleep.  she barely got any.  i slept fine.

is my wife not the greatest, in the whole world?

now we are watching order of the phoenix on tv w/ spanish subtitles and we can't stop laughing.

i kind of love my life sometimes.

ETA: hey, an actual reason for this post now! :P  my made-of-awesome clan and i can't figure it out.

is this jon walker or alex suarez?!

like, i'm pretty sure that's jon's cat dylan (the tabby is clover), so i'd assume, y'know, jon, but jon doesn't wear that watch, does he?  like ever?  and i can sort of see alex too?  and jon doesn't have that much hair on his forearms.  it is so infuriating that i can't figure this out!  i've never even thought of a resemblance between them!

ETA II: keri pointed out the mole.  yeah.  i'm tired.  i didn't notice that.  but the mole's on the other side so someone flipped the photo so that's why it doesn't look like alex so much.  so it's, alex, holding jon's cat???  STOP CONFUSING US, BOYS.  AND *WHAT* IS WITH THE BACKGROUND?!??!  the fish?  seriously?  and all the broken pieces where somebody tried to like, photoshop out the background?  without photoshop?  and why would someone flip the pic in the first place?  what is UP with this photo??  i sense a government conspiracy.  or something related to CFOB.  or aliens.  or petewentz himself, but i am pretty sure he is maybe an alien too.  his head is weirdly shaped.  i think i need coffee.

p.s. all this is making me want to ship alex/jon.  headdesk.

p.s.s. the new (or old, if it's from the cabin???) panic song on the mixtape: there are no words for my love for it.  like.  it could be my favouritest panic song ever.  MOAR NAO PLS.

behindthec: (slash H/S)
you know what really, really, bothers me, but mostly just makes me laugh really hard?

GSF that is rated, like, PG.

group. SEX. fic.


guise? never, ever write me GSF that is rated PG (not that you have, i'm just saying). not saying anything against the writers, i just. i'm the kinda dude who can't make it without the porn payoff at the end, y'know? i'm a fifteen-year-old boy at heart, i really am. money shots ftw.

that being said, hai, everyone pls write panic GSF. there is never enough.

an example of GSF that is utterly perfection, what [profile] falling_words wrote a couple weeks ago.  did i srsly never plug that?  jesus.  it's like, more amazing every time i read it.  (she's even writing me a sequel. ;)

in other news, there is this graffiti along the highway on my way to work that says "ILLS OUT". i have passed it every day for six months and i've never really known what it means, so i've always taken it to mean, cast out your ill thoughts, your bad vibes, etc., face the day fresh. and every day i would pass it and look at it and take a deep breath and try to do just that. it was really, really cool. even if it was BS and i'd forget about it a few minutes later; it was a good start to the day and it made me feel positive and energised, and that's kind of stupid but oh well.

on the way to the keewaf concert last week, i finally pointed it out to keri and she said, "i think it means 'illegals'."

...well. obviously.

now i can't look at it without feeling a little sick in my stomach.

perspective... is like. insanely, terrifyingly powerful, isn't it?

warped photos I

warped photos II
behindthec: (emo pride)
i have complaints. i haven't done this in some time, usually i'm just providing you all with porn and picspams, so bear with me.

1. my internet at work has been down since friday. anyone who has ever spent a day with me chatting online at work knows MY INTERNET IS V. V. IMPORTANT TO ME KTHX. i have started to go mad, taking photos of trash and doing extra work i don't even have to do and accidentally inventing names when i'm inputting data. it's deadly, ppl. it was so bad that on my lunch break i tried to start writing some more of this rywalk i'm doing for [ profile] falling_words and i started the scene WITH AN IM CONVERSATION. WOW. NO, I DON'T MISS TALKING WITH HER AT ALL, DO I. :(

2. i don't know whether to be flattered, amused, or annoyed when i find someone totally stealing from my fics. i think overall i am unaffected b/c the plagiaristic fic in question was badly written; i have very little expectations for bad writers. :P

3. keri is sick.

4. i am not inspired to write lately. it is shitty. i have realised recently the logic of the pattern: i eat when i'm depressed (it's a good thing my metabolism's so high or i'd be a blimp), and i write/read fic to escape from depression; therefore, it seems i can't write unless i'm overeating. so lately i have been trying to diet. not b/c i'm fat, but b/c i've been looking at a lot of pictures of the ever two-dimensionally gorgeous ryan ross i really want to be healthier. anyhow, as an ex-anorexic, dieting is utterly disastrous for me in every conceivable way and usually leaves me *too* depressed to write because i end up having no discipline, or starving for a few days and then crashing. *headdesk*

5. how long is a quarter-life crisis supposed to last? just wondering. i'm kind of ready for it to be over, ready to start accepting my inevitable aging. and i'm, so, totally, not.

wait, i do have a point to all this.

WHO WANTS TO PITY ME AND WRITE ME FIC? look, i didn't even say porn! i'm so desperate i'll even accept non-smutty drabbles. right now i'm hardcore into pyro and rywalk but i'll take ANYTHING in the decaydanceverse.

loves you all.
behindthec: (me - flirting is the path)
(mmmm... happy memory of today: driving around blasting rocket summer with the windows down and totally orgasming over avary's falsetto riffs.  UNF.)

so, okay.

riding my bike around the apartment complex in semi-darkness with bugs flying at me, and me totally abandoning the handlebars, and the wind and the roaring silence effected by the wind and, okay.  so much more effective than yoga or meditation.  just saying.

in other news, i went to a baseball game on wednesday night with my co-workers, and i spent the majority of the game texting back and forth with becca, who was in the middle of writing me like, the most intensely angsty emo one-shot like, in the universe (pete/ryan, night before pete's wedding, need i say more omfg), which SHE WAS ACTUALLY TEXTING TO ME AS SHE WROTE IT BECAUSE I COULDN'T STAND NOT HAVING IT.

i wonder what this says about me as a human being.

also, i don't care all that much at all, because it was an awesome night, and my boss is very physically affectionate and it's kind of amusing, especially when we all start debating whether or not she is a big lesbo, which we do a lot.  (it basically consists of all of us going "you ARE!!!" and her going "i am NOT!!!"  simple.  predictable.  entertaining.)

in not so unrelated news at all, it struck me today, like lightning (just as hard, just as fast, just as electrifying), that "of all the gin joints in the world" is so. totally. and completely. one hundred fucking percent WRITTEN ABOUT RYAN ROSS.  holy jesus, and just.  yeah.  fuck.  wow.

back to the game, i also spent over thirty dollars on parking, a pretzel, a coke, and cotton candy.  the world is sad, really.  i even had to borrow a dollar from chase BECAUSE COTTON CANDY APPARENTLY COSTS FIVE DOLLARS NOW.

and then.  THEN!!!!!!  THEN, when i was out of cash ENTIRELY -- I SAW SOMEONE WALKING AROUND WITH A FUNNEL CAKE.  WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY GET A FUNNEL CAKE.  I SAW NO FUNNEL CAKE ANYWHERE.  i tried to force myself to see it as a lesson in contentment.  but mostly i just ended up really really wanting funnel cake.  WHEN DOES ANYONE NOT WANT FUNNEL CAKE, COME ON PPL.

keri and i got really drunk last night and made like, 35 minutes of drunken iMovie videos that included awesome phrases like, "THAT IS A DOORSTOP AND NO YOU CANNOT STICK IT UP YOUR BUM!!!!!!!!!!"  (watching the videos back this morning, we were laughing so hard we were almost in tears.)  then we had really really super emo role-play sex and it was fucking epic, okay.  yeah.  UNF.  i also attempted to play "pas de cheval" and "disenchanted" on our fantastic new electric guitar, while drunk, and ALMOST did not completely fail.

and today, TODAY, we went to the skate park because they were having an etnies thing, i don't know honestly, all i really have consciousness for when we go to the skatepark is, like, JAILBAIT.  IN SKINNYJEANS.  ON SKATEBOARDS.  HAI.  (fyi, no, okay, keri actually skates, we don't go JUST to stare at the boys.  well, she doesn't, anyway.)

eric fletcher is totally my new skaterboy crush.  i mean, COME ON, CAN YOU LOOK AT THIS AND NOT SQUEE.  though sadly when we saw him today he'd cut his hair. :/ (my last crush, blaine, has gotten a little scruffy and doesn't look underage enough anymore.  such is life.)

that is all.  i'm stalling.  b's gonna have my ass for this (and not in the good way).  i'm totally supposed to be writing lapdance fic as we speak, while she bitches about how emo her fic has gotten and tries to blame it on me.

see, this is why we work so well together. <3

how, HOW did this entry get so long?!  this was supposed to be like, TWO SENTENCES ABOUT MY ZEN BIKE RIDING EXPERIENCE.  christ.

behindthec: (me - flirting is the path)

that being said, everyone in bandom needs to check out this entry (from my beloved becca and our insane minds) because.  just.  seriously.  you won't regret it, i swear.

in other news, i just might have a smutty walkie one-shot to post this weekend.

behindthec: (emo pride)
so cliche, but whatever. i'm reflecting on the year; suck it.

shitty things of 2007:
- money problems.
- carpal tunnel/tendonitis.
- personal shit and identity crises.
- the two-week cold/flu of doom.

fucking awesome things of 2007:
- keri's graduating.
- my graduating. SUMMA CUM LAUDE.
- becoming more comfortable in my ever evolving sexuality.
- passing for a dude and getting hit on by teen girls/boys everywhere.
- having the coolest apartment of anyone i've ever known.
- hot topic bonding.
- EMO LOVE. and finally finding a style/look that fits me like a glove.
- that two-week-early special screening of order of the phoenix... and all its accompanying complications/fabulousness.
- discovering/getting into some *really really really* great bands (fall out boy, panic! at the disco, cute is what we aim for, the academy is..., boys like girls, all time low, my chemical romance, cartel... just to name a few).
- writing some fantastic fanfic, if i do say so myself.
- getting into some incredible fanfic and ships.
- learning shit about myself.
- "MOOOON!!!!! ...unmoon."
- the harry potter summer.
- alex gaskarth's stage presence. brendon and ryan's mad love affair. beckett & co. period.
- steve carell.
- role-playing and the development of my alter ego, colin.
- GETTING ALL TIME LOW'S PHONE NUMBER #(*&$)(*UF)(*&%)(*#&$(*#&$.
- the concerts(tm) (boys like girls, all time low, cartel, fall out boy, cute is what we aim for, plain white t's).
- developing really fantastic abs, and rediscovering yoga.

things i've learned in 2007:
- sex makes life so much better. but real hardcore love is still better.
- if you can't be content with where you are/what you have now, you never will be.
- you can't change people. (i am constantly evolving in my understanding/acceptance of this.)
- in the end it so, so, so really doesn't matter what other people think. (still working on this too.)
- living with pain is an inescapable part of existence.

latest pics and shit on facebook.
behindthec: (emo pride)
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
cross-dressed hardcore.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
don't make resolutions. resolutions are for people who are so incapable of improving on their own that they have to announce to themselves that they will be making said improvements (and then almost never do).

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
ew, babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
thank god, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
suck my cock. i'm poor.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
february something, can't remember exactly. can't say why. it was really bad.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
i graduated fucking college, summa cum laude. YESSSSSSSSSS.

9. What was your biggest failure?
betraying the trust of someone i love.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
have you met me? tendonitis (or carpal tunnel, whatever) for the past EIGHT MONTHS THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
probably my vans. lolz.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
this is a weird question. i don't know. everyone i know behaves well sometimes, and terribly other times.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
my own, at times.

14. Where did most of your money go?
food, bills, etc.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
seeing keri when she came home from virginia. ♥AND the fall out boy concert!!!!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
probably anything by all time low.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder?
much happier overall, save for my identity crisis and financial situation.
ii. Thinner or fatter?
slightly thinner, and in better shape overall.
iii. richer or poorer?
poorer, but only because i'm not living at home anymore and we're currently surviving on 1 1/4 incomes, but it's so worth it.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
read more books. it just bores me so.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
watching TV.

20. How many one-night stands?

21. What was your favourite TV program?
probably the simpsons. i don't really like any new shows.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
oh no, i hate everyone equally.

23. What was the best book you read?
i would love to say deathly hallows, but that would be a lie. the one i'm reading right now isn't bad. it's called "on desire: why we want what we want."

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
boys like girls and all time low. <3

25. What did you want and not get?
to have been long since cured of my tendonitis.

26. What was your favourite film of this year?
ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!!!!!!!!! {#)%*{#)(*{)F(#$

27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i don't remember; i don't do much for my birthday. i was 24. ugh. old.

28. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

29. What kept you sane?
keri. <3

30. Who did you miss?
keri while she was away.

31. Who was the best new person you met?
whitney!!! and some really nice people on facebook who seem to like me, in bridget jones style, just as i am.

32. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
if you cannot be content with what you presently have, you will never be content.
behindthec: (Default)
Shitty things:

1. I was forced to resign this morning after only a few days of working with WordsRU because my carpal tunnel/tendonitis/whatever this is came back so badly I can scarcely sit at the computer at all. They had been very pleased with my work thus far and it would have been a very promising job, so it was a very hard and unpleasant decision for me but I know what my arms need right now is pure rest, and that's what I'm going to give them.

2. I have no money for a sex change, and never will.

3. I am old.

4. My parents have officially stopped giving me any money at all. So we are completely independent now.

5. We are fucking broke.

6. I've been sick the last few days.

7. I am wishing I had majored in something useful and less INCREDIBLY BORING. Like... rock stardom.

8. I am very depressed because of all the above things.

Good things:

1. I have reached a place in my life where I am willing to make a "good things" list!!!!!

2. Keri's job, despite our complaining, does manage to pay enough that we can pay our bills and don't go hungry or anything like that.

3. We've got almost $4,000 in savings. A few more years and we'll be able to get a house!

4. I still have my Writing Center job as long as I want it.

5. My wife works out all the time and as a result has this incredibly amazing fucking body and strong muscles and tight abs and can fuck me so hard I can barely walk afterwards and I'm getting wet just thinking about her.

6. Also, she does wicked role-playing with me in bed and takes care of me when I'm sick AND when I'm not sick and goes to work every day at a job she doesn't like in order to support us and she works so hard to be supportive and understanding of my identity/sexual issues even though they are really really hard on her and tells me every day that it will be okay and we will get through all this shitty life stuff.

7. Practically everyone I know is super cool and supportive about my current semi-trans identity.

8. I don't live a hundred years ago, therefore I do not get thrown in the nuthouse for aforementioned identity.

9. I'm starting a yoga/no-computer regimen.

10. WE SEE FALL OUT BOY, CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR, AND PLAIN WHITE T'S THIS SATURDAY NIGHT P(#*&$)(*U)(#&$)&*FW#U$)( (#)#W&$)(*#W (W&#$)Q#$)*WFP W(#&$ )(W#&$)(Q (( (Q&R$(T$UW$&PF P7YR*&YIFUUY#(P $YR*O&@A*O#YIQY** P*S#P( P9 $)&* PWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DIES*

11. I found THE hottest HP fic the other night (the challenge was "Marauders circle-jerk, light on the Peter, leading to eventual J/S blowjob with R watching... OH BABY YES). Link available on request.

12. Speaking of, lots of good gay sex on Logo lately (I like porn when I'm sick, apparently; this is a relatively new discovery), and plenty more in the Netflix queue. :D Got Keri to watch C.R.A.Z.Y. with me the other night, P#*%&(P*G#% it just gets better every time I see it. I know what I want for Christmas. We had a really awesome time watching Maurice, too - old 80's gay flick with Hugh Grant. BEST MOVIE LINE EVER: "We demand tea!!" Fucking hell yes I love early 20th century British gay boys. <3

13. Speaking of, my gay boyfriend is awesome and visits/flirts with me every week at work. <3

14. I can still be uplifted by the shallow declarations of people on Facebook/MySpace telling me how hot I am.

15. My good list is longer than my bad list.

So yeah. Won't be on the computer much in the next few months. Can still be reached though. Cheers.
behindthec: (emo pride)
1. i am not a teenager anymore.
- this was a surprisingly mortifying and devastatingly depression realisation. i have never felt older in my life than i did this weekend, nor ever experienced a stronger desire to be 14 again and go back to high school, as a male, and sleep with all my pretty male friends like they do in marauder-era potterfic. (i think my subconscious is reasoning that i would have less control or power as a girl; as a boy i would have much more control over my circumstances and the way my teenage life would go - i would be more aggressive and assertive.) so i have issues! bugger me sideways, i don't care, so does everyone else. mine are cooler, AND more interesting. and i'm like, all aware of them and shit. yeah.

1b. i am, and have been since i moved out of my parents' house, currently in a state of psychological regression to childhood. i miss my parents, miss being taken care of in that way (i specify in that way because lord knows keri takes care of me in many ways), and i miss the carefreeness of being a teen (despite accompanying angst), and i want to do it over again so i can have all the experiences i never had, being so sheltered. i am now old (comparatively) and can never go back, and there is much i want to have experienced. knowing i will not has been very hard to start accepting. anyhow, the regression explains my recent descent into slight* pedophilia (including the emo boys, AHA!), chanslash and cross-gen slashfic (parental relationships, AHA!), as well as my attraction to older women (hello mummy... and freud).

*meaning, y'know, nothing really younger than 13.

(1c. i don't know if ANYTHING, though, can explain my latest obsession with sirius/regulus fic other than the fact that 90% of the ppl who write them are *incredible fucking writers*... and the fact that their chemistry is just holyfuckingshitP(#$&(*FP(&#@)(*A&YF)*&P(R&@(P&PO*AUFP(#*U$P(*#$UP(*A. so there's that, i guess.)

2. having a gorgeous 13-year-old emo boy try to impress me on his skateboard is quite possibly the most embarrassingly flattering experience i have ever had with the opposite sex.

(2b. keri flicking him off afterward was also especially memorable. <3)

((2c. the marietta square on weekend evenings is emoskaterboy central. i am currently resisting the temptation to make emoskaterboy watching [like bird-watching but yummier] a weekend ritual.))

3. i am really very much in love, with the most incredible person on the planet.
- and really, the incredibleness is not infatuation with how much she loves me, but objective observation of her as a human being. just... wow. still, after over two and a half years, just... wow.

4. sex with biting that leaves giant red marks and tooth imprints on my stomach, legs, and wrists: HOTTTTTT.
- this is not actually news. more like a renaissance.

5. cartel rocks.

5b. rocks even harder.

6. we cannot go into hot topic anymore ever again for the rest of our lives because we have spent over $100 in there (or the online store) in the last three days. FUCKING HELL OMFG.
- the PROBLEM, see, is that we have the exact same taste in style and music (she is shamelessly usurping my emo phase), so if she buys a fall out boy shirt, i am going to be stealing it a lot, and if i buy one, she is going to be stealing it, because stolen clothes are somehow funner to wear than our own (EVEN THO WE SHARE OUR DRESSERS/DRAWERS OMFG). so we have to get TWO of everything, just in different styles, god damn it. (luckily there are at least two designs of shirts for all the bands we love.)


(6c. i feel this, aside from the obvious financial concerns, is a very healthy outlet for my regression phase. that and role-playing in bed omfg... which may be less healthy given how addicting it is but, as previously stated, omfg.)

7. i can cut my hair really awesomely. it's like an official talent now, i think. pics to come.

8. my new chiropractor is god.

9. love conquers all.

10. maggie smith is the shit.

11. i really, really cannot wait to see wild tigers i have known.

12. i am damn fucking good at my job. they begged me and begged me to be the writing center outreach coordinator and i didn't want to but now i am excellent at public speaking and can make a class of stone-faced braindead freshmen LAUGH. also professors all over the english department have been sending in letters to the WC saying how freaking awesome i and my presentations are. so go me.

12b. job hunting sucks. i think i am aiming too high ("fuck them and their 5 years minimum experience; i have 2 and i was the oustanding senior and summa cum laude and all that shit which is SO BETTER THAN THE EXTRA 3 YEARS"... i don't know if that's really working). i really haven't applied to that many places though, because i write really well thought out, customised cover letters for each one and that takes a REALLY long time. also my actual job is keeping me very busy.

13. at the moment, despite a lot of shit, i am utterly satisfied with life, despite its lack of being perfect and all.

14. fuck it's late. bedtime.

ETA at 12:56am: I just checked my email. LOOK WHAT I GOT.

<< Dear Danielle,
> Thank you for sending your CV to WordsRU. Could you
> please give some idea of
> your availability in terms of hours per day. Our
> rates work out at an
> average of USD 7 - 10 per 1000 words. Will this work
> for you? Regards
> Stephen >>

I think I speak for, well, myself, when I say p#&P(*UP(*&%()*WJP$*%U_P(*S&_P(#$%#%.

k thx bye & g'night.


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May 2009

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