behindthec: (piano)
Title: Scratch My Phosphorus Skin [1/1]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan; slight GSF vibe
Rating: R for drug use
Words: ~1,320
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Summary: They all did it, once upon a time (last time; no fairy tales ever), side by side, warm skin brushing as they passed the joints back and forth.
Notes: This is a flashback-y snapshot from the PCCF 'verse, inspired by a passage from the final chapter, but you don't have to read the fic to understand this. Couldn't get this out of my head once [livejournal.com profile] selectivelyurie brought it up in the Q&A. Set a few days before the infamous kiss. If the drugs bother you, know that in my world they were only ever this reckless at the cabin. ;) This is abstract and bizarre and written in the middle of the night and has no real meaning, so watch for pointlessness. Title from the scrapped cabin songs.

Ryan's skin in moonlight is a natural A minor scale. )

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab 
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Words: ~93,000
Summary:  Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't.
Notes: Post-cabin cabin fic.  I realize how morbid my summary sounds, like he got attacked by a rapist or something.  I promise this'll make you smile lots with minimal angst: just boys being their stupid selves.  I've never written epic straight-up Brendon/Ryan, so this is a treat. Epic thanks to [livejournal.com profile] redorchids for sharing my brain/soul contributing several scenes, endlessly brainstorming the last few chapters with me, and creating the official trailer.
 _____________________

Brendon thinks maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers,
and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together.


Chapter 1      |    Chapter 2     |     Chapter 3     |     Chapter 4

Chapter 5     |    Chapter 6     |     Chapter 7     |     Chapter 8


behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [8/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab and [livejournal.com profile] redorchids
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] redorchids, obviously. Several scenes, half the outline, shameless PWF refs, and all original lyrics are hers, as well as the amazing vid she made for this fic, linked at the end. Thanks also to [livejournal.com profile] unluckykitty for the YouTube screenshot photo, and [livejournal.com profile] j_plash for the bountiful flesh-horn epic badfic. <3
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together.
Notes: Scene intro lyrics are from Panic, Snow Patrol, Empires, and The Killers. Thanks to everyone for all your support/feedback. I learned a lot during this, but the concept of the story has been very simple. It's about love, and the tough decision we must make regarding whether it's enough, whether it will prevail in the end. I've wondered many times throughout the course of writing this, and for awhile, lost faith. I'll let you judge for yourself where I ended up. Thanks for joining me on this journey.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

It's not a series of moments, just one. )

behindthec: (Default)
just an update, i'm about 300 words away from finishing pccf, which, wow. i'm totally gonna cry. FML. anyway, you should hopefully have it tomorrow night, assuming i can edit it all by then. it's in 3 parts, so. ugh. [livejournal.com profile] redorchids has finished the vid and it. is. amazing.

i leave you with recs. first, compelling and intense and oh so hot (and angsty). i love brendon's POV in this, his confusion and longing.
http://community.livejournal.com/anon_lovefest/25960.html

and this. oh my god, this. a tiny bit of het, but if *i* still thoroughly enjoyed it, you know it's awesome.
http://reni-days.livejournal.com/23659.html

you may want to check this out first, as a sort of ~intro.
http://maple-mahogany.livejournal.com/376638.html
then read this. just. yes. so much yes. so fucking hot, and just. YES.
http://stephanometra.livejournal.com/330732.html

everything i love about sean/tom. perfection.
http://battleofhydaspe.livejournal.com/80639.html

this was actually really enjoyable. i feel like i would've liked more background, to see how the relationship(s) started, and open endings are always kinda dubious for me, but still, i liked it a lot.
http://panic-smile.livejournal.com/40693.html

not expecting comments, just wanted to give you guys a heads-up. it's coming. thanks for all your support. this fic has been quite a ride.

behindthec: (platform 9 3/4)
[livejournal.com profile] redorchids is writing a pccf scene (twitterwars!) and needs more badfic! she has requested the following:

"joncer badfic: a bj scene that's written by a 12-year-old virgin who clearly has no idea about what's hot and what's not, what a dick looks like or how a bj even works. something like theohara's buffy badfic. LOL. teeth. wrong use of teeth. gallons of precome. come spelled cum. insanely crappy grammar. using other sex words like "rimming" in the wrong context, thinking they mean something else. should be spencer going down on jon and just outrageous. preferably schmoopy as hell too. in a completely unrealistic context. like stockholm syndrom with spence as jon's sex slave or something. idk, you make something up. LOL"

i know it seems all i post are requests lately, but this is FUN, and besides, you're getting chapter 8 soon. i'm a little stuck on the climax scene, but i'll get there.

thanks to everyone who found my hat. you guys are clearly better sleuths than i am. <3

behindthec: (Default)
remember in chapter 5 or whatever, they play bohemian rhapsody, turns out pete had it broadcasting to the whole club, and then in 7 we find out it's been leaked to youtube?

i need a screenshot of that nonexistent youtube vid. which means. an indoor shot of ryan on guitar and brendon either on piano or at a microphone. this obviously won't be in the same frame, so it would have to be photoshopped. i don't do photoshop but i can smish certain photos together that have the right lighting. though, if you have photoshop skillz and want to try it, that would be amazing. hell, you can even put their heads on other bodies if it looks real enough. it needs to be slightly blurry to be authentic, and it needs to be the basic shape of a youtube clip. so basically, i need photos that i can smish, or a photoshopped image that looks like a real screenshot of this performance. i wasn't going to ask you guys because i've been useless and demanding lately, but [livejournal.com profile] redorchids told me i should. :P

WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU: the satisfaction of making colin's day when he has been miserable lately the first half of chapter 8 (includes porn) to the first person who can pull this off.



behindthec: (ryden.)
i really don't want to sound like a bitch, but please stop asking when chapter 8 will be up. i'm sort of in a life crisis here, so fic is kind of my last priority. [livejournal.com profile] redorchids is keeping me sane and working on it with me. it won't be posted until we're both satisfied and until she finishes the accompanying video. don't expect anything for at least another week, i'd say. thanks for all your responses to my last post and for the emails (i will try to respond at some point). it means a lot. again, won't be answering comments here, i'm sorry, but i'm just not up to it. i promise i'll respond to every single one when i post the last chapter. i'm just living in a daze right now and don't really have the energy.

have another teaser.


Ryan's hands are on him before he remembers it's coming. It's grown so integral to their practice that it would feel stranger without it, the intimacy of both the poses and their relationship having evolved at the same pace, but it would be pointless and stupid to forfeit one just because the other has --

Failed is the first word to break through all his repression and Brendon feels himself tremble at the thought, the wounds still fresh and gaping between them, but he doesn't flinch, he doesn't, when Ryan wraps around him, fingers trembling in Brendon's and gripping tighter just to still themselves. Ryan's breath is like burning on the tight line of his shoulder, his chest a blinding sheet of fire where it's molded to Brendon's bare back, their hips aligned and locked like it's the only thing left in the world that fits. Brendon holds on and lets go all at once, giving himself to the implicit plea for trust that's running hot across Ryan's skin, seeping into Brendon's everywhere they touch. He's been laid out for more boys than he can count, tied up and stripped down and spread open, vulnerable to the highest, but he's never felt more exposed than he does now, with Ryan his anchor, still the only one to ever make him fall and now the only one to stop him crashing.


behindthec: (piano)
pccf rambling. )

here, have a teaser. this one's hers, and just, ngh.

They lie there, breathing together, hiding from the world while their bodies cool and the sounds from outside start to filter back in through the open window. Brendon figures he should pull out, roll away, be angry with Ryan for pushing him into this or with himself for nodding along—cry, yell—something; anything other than just curling himself tighter around the body next to him and burying his face against the dark hair. It doesn't make sense for him to cling to Ryan—not when it's Ryan that's making him break—but thinking of letting go is worse, so Brendon clings. His body starts to shake, so he squeezes harder, the emotional equivalent of trying to swim in quicksand and probably just as futile, but it's what he's got, so he'll take it. And when he closes his eyes and breathes in the smell of Ryan—of them, and this, skin mingling together—then at least he knows that it wasn't all a dream.

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [7/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] siubhlach, [livejournal.com profile] taraangelx, [livejournal.com profile] takkatakkatakka; a very special thanks to [livejournal.com profile] redorchids, who co-wrote the last sex scene with me when I was ready to give up on this damn fic altogether. The lyrics and most of the good ideas in here are hers as well.
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together.
Notes: I hope you guys enjoy these last two chapters because I'm not going to be writing anything for awhile. I'm fucking wiped out. Anyway, Brendon's fascination with portable toilets belongs to me and me alone. For those doubting the boys' basketball skills, I suggest taking a look at this, and also their clothes in the drunken jailbait sleepover pics.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

It's official: there is only one thing in the world better than sex. )

behindthec: (spyro.)
so, i fucked up a bit on the history in my ~epic theory: bden and spence moved to cali before ryan and keltie split. so... maybe the whole plan was for all of them to move out there, but ryan felt he should stay back awhile since keltie had just moved there for that job? idk. i am exceedingly pleased to announce that my dear [livejournal.com profile] moku_youbi has agreed to take on the challenge of writing this fic, and considering she is one of my 3-4 favourite writers in bandom, THIS IS EXCITING.

also, someone should really write a fic based on this thread.

stayed up till midnight writing/editing a really intense scene for chapter 7 and angsting over it with [livejournal.com profile] redorchids, but it was all worth it and i think you guys are going to like it.

happy monday. have some pretty boys. seriously, i beg you, someone write me RPS about these two. i mean. come on. just... look at them.

how much do i love [livejournal.com profile] justranda, and my flist in general? this much. i've realized i wake up to monday morning porn more often than not, and that's just. you guys. ily.

probably won't answer comments here; my fingers hurt today and i've got a lot of work. i'll read and smile, etc. ♥

behindthec: (Default)
in light of what we've all been talking about here lately, the absence of ryan and jon may make you ache, as it did for me, but still, this is present-day canon and exceedingly hot and well-written, and we all know i can't resist anything that falls under those categories: circumnavigating foundations by [livejournal.com profile] colorofsmoke.

thanks to everyone who's been indulging my bratty whining, writing me drabbles and fic and trying to appease my melodramatic reactions to current fandom.  you guys are so, so awesome.  i'm off today, so in between chores and errands, i plan to do nothing but write ch 7. have a teaser at last:


Ryan groans weakly. "Can't move."

Brendon chuckles against his shoulder, snuggling into him deeper, sealing any remaining bits of their bodies that have managed to pry apart. "'S normal after your first time."

Ryan snaps his hips up, lazy and constricted under the weight, hipbones nonetheless digging into Brendon's waist in retaliation. "Or, you're squashing me. Asshole."

"Oh." Brendon rolls off, grinning sheepishly. "Sorry."

Ryan's smile beams bright when he sits up, leaning over Brendon to cup his face in one cuddle-warmed hand and kiss the corner of his mouth. "Don't be," he breathes hot into Brendon's ear. "I like you on top of me."

behindthec: (brencer)
more random fictalk, aidsfic rambling, and my favorite boypic of all time (tasteful but NSFW). )

here, have a rec of utmost preciousness that will make you forget all about brendon dying. i'm taking tomorrow off, i've earned it, so happy early friday to me and happy thursday to the rest of you. p.s. i'm friendslocking my previous entry in the next couple days 'cause it talks about work and a specific person, so if there's any more comment-stalking you need to do (oh shut up, you all admit you do it :P) and you're not on my flist, do it now. thx. ♥

behindthec: (brencer)
go read The way you make me feel (it knocks me off my feet) by [livejournal.com profile] siubhlach. unf.

also, here is the actual interview from the rywalk backrub gif that went viral last week. "we don't like drugs or girls." oh, jon walker, how are you real. speaking of this band's unrealness, ryan and spencer's twitters, oh fucking god. RYAN'S BUYING HIM SHORTS, YOU GUYS. BECAUSE HE KNOWS SPENCER'S SIZE AND WHAT KIND HE'D LIKE, AND. AND. YOU GUYS. i. just. ♥!! someone, please, right now, write me endless present-day fic about ryan and spencer realizing they have possibly been in love forever and are married. GO.

and now, rambling about my next project and pccf. )

behindthec: (tomrad)
go read 'Cause None of Us Were Angels by [livejournal.com profile] atomichatred82. awesome. that's sort of the kind of realboy porn i wish i could write, for those who have been all "WHY DON'T YOU LIKE YOUR PORN?!"

exciting news: [livejournal.com profile] ivesia19 is going with me to see the cabbies on 4/18 AND fall out boy in atlanta the week after! \o/ EPIC. i so rarely meet LJ peeps IRL. anyone else going? we can form a coalition. or something.

random thanks to sophie for putting up with my emo. i love you.

i haven't written any of chapter 7. just a heads-up. i think i need a few days off. that was a lot of sex, and there's a lot more coming. lol. but you can has this, which will appear:

1 new message from the walkman
so who tops? spence adn i have a bet going. pls respond. love jon

i love how shameless he is. haven't decided the boys' response (if any). hey, i want some porn. get on that, internet. even if it's colin/william. (see twitter.) i wrote you lots of sex, now write me some. i know at least half a dozen of you who are in the midst of writing me some and always put it off. don't make me start naming names. :P

behindthec: (ryden.)
Title: Back To The Place [6/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lolab
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Fiction as far as I know.
Dedication: Everyone who brainstormed with me here; everyone who's been supportive lately (you know who you are, writin' me fic and shit ♥); [livejournal.com profile] ivesia19 for this; and above all, [livejournal.com profile] minus_four for her honesty and for letting me bitch about this forever. (AND FOR RILONX.)
Summary: Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together.
Notes: The soundtrack's key for this one, though the tracks are linked in-text, too. Lyrics belong to Radiohead. For the record, I wrote my scene before this was posted. I still hate parts of this (they're total disgusting girls; they'll get their testosterone back next chapter), but I hope it was worth the wait.

Please visit the master post for previous chapters, notes, track listing, etc.

When Brendon wakes up, he's pretty sure he's dead. )

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behindthec: (Default)
Colin

May 2009

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