behindthec: (irishAU)
lookit me, all fangirling red's lyrics. ♥

so, this kinda doubles as the start of my outline, more for my benefit than anything else; it's slightly spoilery and hella rambly, so don't read if you don't want, but if you're following the development of this fic, you may find it interesting.

irishAU: the beginnings. (and some recs.) )

behindthec: (Default)
just an update, i'm about 300 words away from finishing pccf, which, wow. i'm totally gonna cry. FML. anyway, you should hopefully have it tomorrow night, assuming i can edit it all by then. it's in 3 parts, so. ugh. [ profile] redorchids has finished the vid and it. is. amazing.

i leave you with recs. first, compelling and intense and oh so hot (and angsty). i love brendon's POV in this, his confusion and longing.

and this. oh my god, this. a tiny bit of het, but if *i* still thoroughly enjoyed it, you know it's awesome.

you may want to check this out first, as a sort of ~intro.
then read this. just. yes. so much yes. so fucking hot, and just. YES.

everything i love about sean/tom. perfection.

this was actually really enjoyable. i feel like i would've liked more background, to see how the relationship(s) started, and open endings are always kinda dubious for me, but still, i liked it a lot.

not expecting comments, just wanted to give you guys a heads-up. it's coming. thanks for all your support. this fic has been quite a ride.


Apr. 5th, 2009 03:08 pm
behindthec: (ryden.)
like red alert, only, not, ha ha, okay.

so, my crush flirt buddy self-proclaimed soulmate lovely friend, [ profile] redorchids, finally convinced me to give up my entire sunday morning/afternoon (i don't think it was phrased quite like this, but that's what it took) and read this fic she wrote a few months ago. apparently i am a colossal idiot, because this fic is possibly the best thing i've ever read in bandom. yeah. i said it. definitely in my top 3-5, whatever. this one will stay with me after all others have faded. no way you can read this and not love it. the intense creativity she employs, the way she weaves panic's lyrics into it (you'll never look at any of their songs the same), the simple beauty of the writing itself; it's all stunning. some of you have complimented my use of metaphor; my stuff is elementary school drivel compared what she does in this, srsly. you will never forget this fic. also it's got some of the hottest sex i've ever read in my life. there, that perked up your ears, didn't it. :P

here it is. read the prequel/prologue first. and you have to go down every single path because they are all incredible. there. if i plug the fic any harder i'll... insert boisecks/buttplug joke here.

also, [ profile] moku_youbi is possibly my favourite person in the world as well, simply for this. OH GOD. i don't deserve you guys.

i motherfucking love my flist.

that said, i am now going to do something i never do and put on my tin hat, so for those of you who have been distressed by our fandom of late...

a slightly obsessive theory regarding the current state of panic: ryden edition. )

p.s. chapter 7 is about halfway done (there is a chance, a chance, i'll have to split it into two chapters but i really don't want to; we'll see; it's just so long already); hopefully will have it up by thursday as usual.

behindthec: (Default)
in light of what we've all been talking about here lately, the absence of ryan and jon may make you ache, as it did for me, but still, this is present-day canon and exceedingly hot and well-written, and we all know i can't resist anything that falls under those categories: circumnavigating foundations by [ profile] colorofsmoke.

thanks to everyone who's been indulging my bratty whining, writing me drabbles and fic and trying to appease my melodramatic reactions to current fandom.  you guys are so, so awesome.  i'm off today, so in between chores and errands, i plan to do nothing but write ch 7. have a teaser at last:

Ryan groans weakly. "Can't move."

Brendon chuckles against his shoulder, snuggling into him deeper, sealing any remaining bits of their bodies that have managed to pry apart. "'S normal after your first time."

Ryan snaps his hips up, lazy and constricted under the weight, hipbones nonetheless digging into Brendon's waist in retaliation. "Or, you're squashing me. Asshole."

"Oh." Brendon rolls off, grinning sheepishly. "Sorry."

Ryan's smile beams bright when he sits up, leaning over Brendon to cup his face in one cuddle-warmed hand and kiss the corner of his mouth. "Don't be," he breathes hot into Brendon's ear. "I like you on top of me."

behindthec: (brencer)
more random fictalk, aidsfic rambling, and my favorite boypic of all time (tasteful but NSFW). )

here, have a rec of utmost preciousness that will make you forget all about brendon dying. i'm taking tomorrow off, i've earned it, so happy early friday to me and happy thursday to the rest of you. p.s. i'm friendslocking my previous entry in the next couple days 'cause it talks about work and a specific person, so if there's any more comment-stalking you need to do (oh shut up, you all admit you do it :P) and you're not on my flist, do it now. thx. ♥

behindthec: (brencer)
go read The way you make me feel (it knocks me off my feet) by [ profile] siubhlach. unf.

also, here is the actual interview from the rywalk backrub gif that went viral last week. "we don't like drugs or girls." oh, jon walker, how are you real. speaking of this band's unrealness, ryan and spencer's twitters, oh fucking god. RYAN'S BUYING HIM SHORTS, YOU GUYS. BECAUSE HE KNOWS SPENCER'S SIZE AND WHAT KIND HE'D LIKE, AND. AND. YOU GUYS. i. just. ♥!! someone, please, right now, write me endless present-day fic about ryan and spencer realizing they have possibly been in love forever and are married. GO.

and now, rambling about my next project and pccf. )

behindthec: (slash)
recs )

if brendon had a safeword, what would it be? )

who wants to go see the cab with me on 4/18? )

i'm reading all your comments (and fixing my brilliant typos); big smiles. i'll get around to responding soon. ♥

ETA: people keep talking in comments about how they have so much trouble finding stuff they like on SATD or comms in general -- do you guys not know about DCR??  it lists only completed stuff, it compiles everything that's posted in comms on a daily basis, and there are recs posted every day.  it's so much easier to just look quickly and find something you like.  it's the only place i go ever to find reading material.  i only post on SATD 'cause it's like, all we have, panic comm-wise, and so people who haven't friended me can get on board if they want.  *shrug* just wanted to spread the word!

behindthec: (Default)

so, yeah, i was going to leave you all with another teaser because there's no way this is getting posted tonight, but i decided i hate most of the chapter, so, you get no teaser. sorry. i'll probably be rewriting most of it. i think my work stress is affecting my writing. so. give me some time. i'll get it right. hopefully. today i hate my job enough that i want to just cry in the bathroom. it's not always like this, just this week. and it's making my writing shit. so.

♥ to all. here, have a rec.

[ profile] justranda, KEEP TALKING ABOUT THAT HERE, JFC. *orgasms*

behindthec: (spyro.)
fuck me, i don't know how to start chapter six. there are no flashbacks left to catalyze me. UNLESS WE WANT ANGRY RYAN/SPENCE ARGUING IN FRENCH (see twitter). fortunately, [ profile] stereotypeloser just started writing it for us, and it's amazing so far, so i can't stop flailing.

some great fics i've run across on my flist recently:

- One More Than Three by [ profile] cynthia_arrow
- A Throat-Pierced Sound In The Night by [ profile] jocondite
- Sing Me A Rainbow (Steal Me A Dream) by my dear [ profile] redorchids, whom i love forever and then some even though she likes to pretend i'm a real girl :P.
- Steal Me A Dream by my beloved [ profile] j_plash -- ha, just realized the title similarities, weird (unintentional, i'm sure); anyway, this is only the prologue, but if you can handle a WIP, she has incredible things planned for this fic.

seriously, help me with six. i've run out of things for them to do. (ETA: it needs to be tension-building stuff, not filler or fluff.) the outline is, like... they're playing music. and some other stuff. and there's the chiromancy scene, but that doesn't happen till right before [spoiler]. YES, I ADMIT IT, I'VE RUN OUT OF WAYS FOR THEM TO NOT HAVE SEX.

before i forget, random: remember that moment in titanic when rose walks up to him on the deck and says, "i changed my mind"? can anyone think of another way to say that? another way to communicate that thought?

anyway, *facepalm*

behindthec: (fangirls)
*clears throat for pwentzness*

everyone please meet my new discovery, [ profile] j_plash. she's been writing fic for a good while, but this is her first bandom, for which she made me wait long and hard (lolz). it's based on #2 of my "five times" v-day fic, and it's fantastically detailed, just keeps getting better; dissolves into the best breathplay i've ever read. the whole thing is creative and unique and suspenseful and complex and just reduced me to whimpers and keymashing. she spent an entire fucking day researching every ounce of canon/characterization before attempting to write; i think she knows more about panic than i do now. so, enjoy.

in other news, my 4-yr anniversary w/ keri is tomorrow. wow. also, yesterday an idea came to me for a fic where brendon finds out he has AIDS and then everything is really angsty and then he and one of the boys fall in love and then in the end bden dies. WTAF, BRAIN. my old rent fandom is showing. jfc.

...*adds it to spreadsheet anyway*

(chapter 2 up possibly tomorrow?)

behindthec: (pancakes!)
...if, hypothetically, ryan were to suddenly reveal the results of his piano lessons (which he mentioned he was taking, years ago in interviews), what do you think he might like to play that brendon could walk in on and see? atm i'm leaning toward this. anyone who's seen the truman show will appreciate.

link me to your youtube choices? doesn't have to be classical, but i'm thinking something gentle and romantic. btw, chapter 1 of pccf is underway and i maybe kind of love it a lot. \o/

before i go, a few recs, which i never bother with unless i don't think they've been publicized as much as they deserve.

recs, random stuff about fic philosophy, and more of my youtube madness. )

happy friday!
behindthec: (patd is for lovers)

holy shit, i'm in love.

gorgeous doesn't cover it.

eta: WAIT THERE IS MORE.  william, brendon, snow angels, just, HERE, HAVE MY SOUL ON A PLATTER, JESUS.  GOD I LOVE YOU GUYS.

behindthec: (patd is for lovers)

sophie is the best person ever.  the end.


if you like that, be sure to check out her priestfic (not connected to this, but certainly related).  i've been addicted since its inception.  it's awakened kinks i never knew i had. ;)


chapter 8 is all yours, bb.  getting started tonight.  ty.

behindthec: (clancol - HORNY)
keri and are cybering each other on our respective laptops from across the room.

pete insists on jumping on my crotch repeatedly. this is slightly uncomfortable.

in other news, here, have a new OTP:

how am i going to keep PWF from turning exclusively ryan/spence after reading that???
behindthec: (clancol - HORNY)
so i have this massive hard-on, right, and i'm like "yeah jerking off right nao would be SWEET" so i go into the bedroom and pete is LYING ON THE BED, staring at me like he's WAITING for me. so i'm like, fuck that, i'm ignorin youz, so i lie down and shove him aside and start going to work.

and then he starts LICKING MY STOMACH.

so i had to GET UP and dump him outside the door and shut it.

then he meowed.

so i just scrunched my eyes shut and thought about spencer smith and came really really hard.

anyway, aren't you all curious to know what gave me such a massive hard-on?

happy saturday, people:

it is no joke like 9K words of sex. enjoy yourselves (literally; that was one great orgasm).

chapter 4 teaser )

behindthec: (clancol - HORNY)
pics )

latest TAI TV ep.  too lazy to link it.  go watch it.  bill is such a pretty pretty girl in his little black tank top.

also too lazy to link to the rejected fnmtv promo; i think you can get to it on pete's blog, also youtube.

- my favourite kind of spyro.

- ryden, lovely characterisation, v. funny in parts, not a HUGE porn payoff but still effin' hot.

i won't even link you all to the slavefic b/c it's not worth getting insanely ridiculously embarrassingly addicted to the way B and i are.

ETA: there was totally a fuckin' ducati parked at starbucks this weekend.  for those of you who've read what i've got of the fm&mk sequel... you will understand how hard i drooled. ;)  you may also be happy to know that it's inspired me to start working on it.  so MAYBE I WILL.
behindthec: (Default)
trust me, they're worth it.

a preface to a manifesto/primer that someone will make someday, of ryan's growing crush on alex greenwald.

in which he rides atop alex's shoulders, which we've all seen. (ETA: i have no earthly idea how i forgot to mention this, but this vid also includes brendon and ryan SKIPPING OFF STAGE WITH THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER. NO KEYMASHING HERE WILL SUFFICE.)

this is ryan ross holding a football and... kind of dancing while alex plays, um, ukulele?
  no no, all you need to see in that is ryan.  football.  dancing.  three things that should never, ever, ever go in the same sentence, let alone be visually rendered.  alex pretty much nails it: "this is the weirdest combination you're ever gonna see."  (also the others play hackeysack and brendon carries himself like such a gay man is so gorgeous and lanky and bouncy and hai, want to bone him nao pls.)  i have watched this about six times this morning, and each time i laugh harder.  there were tears, people.  tears.  falling from my laughing green eyes, okay.

now, for your weekend pleasure, head over to [community profile] dotcoms_refresh for the three panic GSF's that were posted yesterday by wayincognito.

cheerio. <3
behindthec: (me - flirting is the path)
[ profile] jfalaz just called me the prince caspian of slash.


i think i can die happy now, honestly.

who wants to write me porn?

ETA: okay, reccing this like whoa, b/c i'm not even halfway done and already i had to go get myself off three times what you think i'm joking b/c I'M NOT it's doing insane things to me.

(ETA II: the master of gay porn writing. that was the second one. ;)

(ETA III: b/c gabe speaking plain old ENGLISH didn't turn me on enough already cobra wasn't fucking awesome enough already:


behindthec: (Default)

May 2009

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