Colin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
behindthec) wrote2009-04-15 12:33 pm
behindthec) wrote2009-04-15 12:33 pm
"THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE BOYS! THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT!"
cut for hugeness, polls, brainstorming, recs, etc.
a few recs:
http://dys-topia.livejournal.com/4819.html
SHE WROTE IT!!!!!!!!! *dances* don't ask me why i like this pairing; it is too complex to explain. HOWEVER, everyone must write it now, in order to win my eternal love. please please please please please??
http://emmuzka.livejournal.com/296825.html
this is really disturbing, but amazing. read the warnings. i would LOVE a sequel.
http://community.livejournal.com/diedandreborn/46037.html
utterly delicious. oh god. more of this forever. sleepysex with top!ryan is my favourite. nnngggghh.
random, but BEST MOTHERFUCKING ICON EVER.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_randomist... ily.
also totally random, but something popped up in my gmail ads yesterday and it took me a moment to figure out why, and it's because the following line is in chapter 8 (i write all fic in gmail drafts): "Brendon steps outside, out the glass doors and down the path, past the hammock until his bare feet meet sun-warmed wood." HERE IS THE SCREENSHOT:
can't stop laughing, omfg!
so, okay. i really wish people wouldn't go anon just to tell me something they think i don't want to hear. (exception being when i know who you are but for privacy reasons you go anon to say something; that's FINE). if you go anon just to say something you're afraid to say logged in (said exception aside), dude, i'm not going to dislike you for expressing your opinion, especially when it's done nicely. i respect all opinions expressed maturely and politely. i don't care what you say to me; i have no idea who you are; even non-anon you're still just an icon and a username. we're all open and friendly here. don't be afraid.
i hate how so many people here seem to be (and often admit to once being) intimidated by me. what the hell is so off-putting about me? i talk to everyone. i answer every comment, message, and email (eventually). i hold open house posts for lurkers, where i've made some of my best friends. how am i intimidating? i don't get it. :(
i also i wanted to reply publicly to that comment about biting off more than i can chew, fic-wise, to explain how i write. first off, i am not planning on writing all these fics at once. :P i'll be choosing one, and the others will be put on hold. the way i work is, i have to write whatever fic i am obsessed with at the time. so i may have tons of ideas and planned-out fics in my mind, but when i actually sit down and commit to something, it has to be what i'm excited/obsessed/passionate about at that given moment; once i actually start writing it, i generally stay obsessed till i finish. this is why i so rarely take prompts or requests, and when i do, i make a huge prompt post and pick the one i connect with most. i have to really *want* to write the fic; i can't write based on what you guys want or when. for it to turn out well, it has to be what i want, when i want it. that sounds so selfish, but that's the only way it works. otherwise i won't enjoy it, and the quality will suffer. make sense?
also, the reason i'm so excited about this fic is because it would be my first real AU, and you know i've always been very meh about AUs in the past b/c they don't feel real to me, and i'm big on canon. but canon is stressing me out too much lately; i'm too attached to it, too affected by it, too dependent on it; i think it would be really emotionally healthy for me to write something that i have complete control over; where it doesn't matter if ryan's doing coke IRL or brendon has a girlfriend. plus i think it's a very important transitional step for me to take if i ever want to write original fiction someday, which i do. plus it's just indulgent and FUN, and i want fic to be fun again.
so, there's my reasoning.
moving on! okay, so clearly, there are as many people for kilts as against them. i personally still find them kind of ridiculous, though the fact that someone mentioned they were generally worn without underwear is a definite plus. idk. what do you think? feel free to post photographic support for your opinion in the comments, otherwise i'm going with no.
[Poll #1384130]
i could always set this in ireland too, considering i have a much stronger mental memory of irish accents than i do scottish (and i even PREFER irish accents). We went with scottish b/c sara had heard that ryan is part scottish, and we know brendon is, but… idk, i could definitely go irish. thoughts?
[Poll #1384131]
also, bagpipes are out; i just went with them initially 'cause it was obvious. :P pianos, so much sexier than bagpipes. also, my first historical request: what other instruments were there in late 19th century scotland? anything guitar-esque? AUs are much easier for me to swallow (lol) if they maintain the basic canon of the characters being musicians. i want ryan to play something. also, i have some ideas for what to do with jon and spence and other bandom peeps, but if you have thoughts for them, let's hear it. i'm considering a side of joncer, maybe. idk. kinda cliche.
last night before bed my brain developed about 2k worth of dialogue for this fic, which is. a very good or very bad thing. some more brainstorming with soph last night:
Sophie: me: AND BY "THE WORLD" HE MEANS "MY DICK"
Sophie: WELL YES
lols
me: YESSSSS :D
or maybe oh god
5:11 PM
maybe he and brendon had this adorable ~courtship before
and they ksised and stuff
but never actually had sex
and before they could, ryan was sold as a slave!
Sophie: awww
me: so when they meet up again years later, they get to have their first time!
Sophie: i think they should flirt
me: total epic faily flirting
Sophie: def
me: brenodn can bring him fucking FLOWERS and stuff
5:12 PM
Sophie: omgggggg
and Ryan's all blushy and Idk-what-to-do-with-this-affection
me: i knowwwwww
Sophie: but also smiley
me: and they have to run off to the park at night to be alone, 'cause, ryan's dad
5:13 PM
Sophie: yess
and pls bden has to hrow pebbles at ryan's window
me: OF COURSE.
and climb the tree to his window while wearing his kilt :D
Sophie: AND RYAN CLIMBS DOWN AND IS FAILY AND BDEN HAS TO CATCH HIM
me: YES!!!!
5:14 PM
and they are all tangled and blushy on the ground
Sophie: like in the making of that green gentleman video
me: :LSKEJR:LIEFE YES!!!!!
that gif makes my life
Sophie: and bden's just like eeeeeeeee, I caught a ryro
gif?
i has no gif
just the dvd lol
me: EEEEEEE
oh, well, gifs of it have been made lol
5:15 PM
Sophie: well. yes
AND THE MOON IS OUT. AND RYAN IS PRETTY. AND BRENDON IS LIKE "... you're pretty"
5:16 PM
and it is cold so he has to give ryan is coat
except then ryan is a girl
lol
i fail at making them boys
me: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
THEY DONT' HAVE TO BE BOYS IN THIS
THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT
Sophie: YESSSSSS \o/
5:17 PM
maybe they should nearly kiss but then Ryan sez he has to go home
and Bden thinks they can ~nxt time
and then Ryan gets made a sex slave
me: AWWWWWWWWWWWW
ASKLERJAOFAPO3I
nooooo!!!
they have to have one kiss!!!
5:18 PM
Sophie: hahaha
fiiiiine
is your fic
lol
me: ONE KISS
BEFORE YEARS OF MISERY
come on
i just need to figure out how he gets all ~stolen. or if his father ends up broke and actually sells him. :/
5:19 PM
Sophie: HAHA I SEX OK
UM. SEZ
me: HAHAHAHA
you sex okay
Sophie: i do ok
i thinks he gets sold :/
me: i knowwww ugh
5:20 PM
Sophie: which is like. gah.
me: i KNOW
Sophie: and can Bden get pissed at his dad?
or something?
me: yeah, totally
i see his dad eventually committing suicide though
once he realizes what he's done
maybe he was drunk when he sold him
Sophie: yeah
makes sense. in a morbid way
me: UGH POOR RYAN
5:21 PM
Sophie: why are we writing such depressing aus?
me: I DON'T KNOW
Sophie: they are aus. WE COULD HAVE UNICORNS
me: KIK!!!!!
er, LOL!!!
Sophie: lolol
me: YES
BRENODN RESCUES RYAN ON A UNICORN
LIKE IN PRIZONER OF AZKABAN
prisoner, even
Sophie: OMG YES
me: AND ITS NAME IS SPARKLES
Sophie: omg lol
5:22 PM
:D
okay. srs bsnss
*headdesk* that last bit was a joke. most of this is a joke. :P
what i wanted is for them to have a kiss (or maybe sex, once), and then the next day ryan is sold into slavery. brendon is present for it all, he's hanging onto the bars on the back of the carriage where ryan is locked in, their fingers overlapping as brendon promises him, "i'll come for you, i promise." and such begins the Quest.
also, thoughts for what ryan's dad's shop is? what kind of business? i have some ideas for how ry and bden meet; i think ryan sees him around a few times before, gets caught staring, etc., and then he finally runs into him (literally, b/c, cute) in the marketplace one day. and is utterly faily and shy and ends up running off. but bden just smiles after him because he's all hearteyes and stuff. ugh, so many ideas swarming in my head. all i want to do is sit and write them down all day, and instead i have to work. :(
i will jot down this one moment i don't want to forget. ryan and brendon sneak off during one point in their faily ~courtship and spend the afternoon by the river or something, sprawled on their backs watching the sun, and the subject of death comes up, and ryan talks about how you have to live each moment, b/c you could die the next (in typical melodramatic, morbid ross fashion :P), and bden's kinda quiet... and that night is the night he throws pebbles at ryan's window in the middle of the night (\o/!), and ryan opens up and lets him in (AHEM) and he's like wtf are you doing here dumbass, my dad will ACTUALLY MURDER YOU if he finds out. and bden just crowds him against the wall, breathless, their foreheads touching, hands joined, and says, "i know, i know, i just couldn't, what if we died and i'd never told you?" and ry's like, "told me what?" and bren says, "that i love you," like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and kisses him. UGH MY HEART. i really, really want them to have sex that one night, and then the next day ryan gets taken. :'( but, i also love the idea of them having their First Time years later... y'know... um... after ryan's been a SEX SLAVE for however many years, so, okay, maybe not. :P though, bden could teach him how sex is ~beautiful. *eyeroll* clicheeeeeeeeeee, ack! thoughts?
sigh. my brain. my life. enough of this nonsense.
a few recs:
http://dys-topia.livejournal.com/4819.html
SHE WROTE IT!!!!!!!!! *dances* don't ask me why i like this pairing; it is too complex to explain. HOWEVER, everyone must write it now, in order to win my eternal love. please please please please please??
http://emmuzka.livejournal.com/296825.html
this is really disturbing, but amazing. read the warnings. i would LOVE a sequel.
http://community.livejournal.com/diedandreborn/46037.html
utterly delicious. oh god. more of this forever. sleepysex with top!ryan is my favourite. nnngggghh.
random, but BEST MOTHERFUCKING ICON EVER.
the_randomist... ily. also totally random, but something popped up in my gmail ads yesterday and it took me a moment to figure out why, and it's because the following line is in chapter 8 (i write all fic in gmail drafts): "Brendon steps outside, out the glass doors and down the path, past the hammock until his bare feet meet sun-warmed wood." HERE IS THE SCREENSHOT:
can't stop laughing, omfg!
so, okay. i really wish people wouldn't go anon just to tell me something they think i don't want to hear. (exception being when i know who you are but for privacy reasons you go anon to say something; that's FINE). if you go anon just to say something you're afraid to say logged in (said exception aside), dude, i'm not going to dislike you for expressing your opinion, especially when it's done nicely. i respect all opinions expressed maturely and politely. i don't care what you say to me; i have no idea who you are; even non-anon you're still just an icon and a username. we're all open and friendly here. don't be afraid.
i hate how so many people here seem to be (and often admit to once being) intimidated by me. what the hell is so off-putting about me? i talk to everyone. i answer every comment, message, and email (eventually). i hold open house posts for lurkers, where i've made some of my best friends. how am i intimidating? i don't get it. :(
i also i wanted to reply publicly to that comment about biting off more than i can chew, fic-wise, to explain how i write. first off, i am not planning on writing all these fics at once. :P i'll be choosing one, and the others will be put on hold. the way i work is, i have to write whatever fic i am obsessed with at the time. so i may have tons of ideas and planned-out fics in my mind, but when i actually sit down and commit to something, it has to be what i'm excited/obsessed/passionate about at that given moment; once i actually start writing it, i generally stay obsessed till i finish. this is why i so rarely take prompts or requests, and when i do, i make a huge prompt post and pick the one i connect with most. i have to really *want* to write the fic; i can't write based on what you guys want or when. for it to turn out well, it has to be what i want, when i want it. that sounds so selfish, but that's the only way it works. otherwise i won't enjoy it, and the quality will suffer. make sense?
also, the reason i'm so excited about this fic is because it would be my first real AU, and you know i've always been very meh about AUs in the past b/c they don't feel real to me, and i'm big on canon. but canon is stressing me out too much lately; i'm too attached to it, too affected by it, too dependent on it; i think it would be really emotionally healthy for me to write something that i have complete control over; where it doesn't matter if ryan's doing coke IRL or brendon has a girlfriend. plus i think it's a very important transitional step for me to take if i ever want to write original fiction someday, which i do. plus it's just indulgent and FUN, and i want fic to be fun again.
so, there's my reasoning.
moving on! okay, so clearly, there are as many people for kilts as against them. i personally still find them kind of ridiculous, though the fact that someone mentioned they were generally worn without underwear is a definite plus. idk. what do you think? feel free to post photographic support for your opinion in the comments, otherwise i'm going with no.
[Poll #1384130]
i could always set this in ireland too, considering i have a much stronger mental memory of irish accents than i do scottish (and i even PREFER irish accents). We went with scottish b/c sara had heard that ryan is part scottish, and we know brendon is, but… idk, i could definitely go irish. thoughts?
[Poll #1384131]
also, bagpipes are out; i just went with them initially 'cause it was obvious. :P pianos, so much sexier than bagpipes. also, my first historical request: what other instruments were there in late 19th century scotland? anything guitar-esque? AUs are much easier for me to swallow (lol) if they maintain the basic canon of the characters being musicians. i want ryan to play something. also, i have some ideas for what to do with jon and spence and other bandom peeps, but if you have thoughts for them, let's hear it. i'm considering a side of joncer, maybe. idk. kinda cliche.
last night before bed my brain developed about 2k worth of dialogue for this fic, which is. a very good or very bad thing. some more brainstorming with soph last night:
Sophie: me: AND BY "THE WORLD" HE MEANS "MY DICK"
Sophie: WELL YES
lols
me: YESSSSS :D
or maybe oh god
5:11 PM
maybe he and brendon had this adorable ~courtship before
and they ksised and stuff
but never actually had sex
and before they could, ryan was sold as a slave!
Sophie: awww
me: so when they meet up again years later, they get to have their first time!
Sophie: i think they should flirt
me: total epic faily flirting
Sophie: def
me: brenodn can bring him fucking FLOWERS and stuff
5:12 PM
Sophie: omgggggg
and Ryan's all blushy and Idk-what-to-do-with-this-affection
me: i knowwwwww
Sophie: but also smiley
me: and they have to run off to the park at night to be alone, 'cause, ryan's dad
5:13 PM
Sophie: yess
and pls bden has to hrow pebbles at ryan's window
me: OF COURSE.
and climb the tree to his window while wearing his kilt :D
Sophie: AND RYAN CLIMBS DOWN AND IS FAILY AND BDEN HAS TO CATCH HIM
me: YES!!!!
5:14 PM
and they are all tangled and blushy on the ground
Sophie: like in the making of that green gentleman video
me: :LSKEJR:LIEFE YES!!!!!
that gif makes my life
Sophie: and bden's just like eeeeeeeee, I caught a ryro
gif?
i has no gif
just the dvd lol
me: EEEEEEE
oh, well, gifs of it have been made lol
5:15 PM
Sophie: well. yes
AND THE MOON IS OUT. AND RYAN IS PRETTY. AND BRENDON IS LIKE "... you're pretty"
5:16 PM
and it is cold so he has to give ryan is coat
except then ryan is a girl
lol
i fail at making them boys
me: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
THEY DONT' HAVE TO BE BOYS IN THIS
THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT
Sophie: YESSSSSS \o/
5:17 PM
maybe they should nearly kiss but then Ryan sez he has to go home
and Bden thinks they can ~nxt time
and then Ryan gets made a sex slave
me: AWWWWWWWWWWWW
ASKLERJAOFAPO3I
nooooo!!!
they have to have one kiss!!!
5:18 PM
Sophie: hahaha
fiiiiine
is your fic
lol
me: ONE KISS
BEFORE YEARS OF MISERY
come on
i just need to figure out how he gets all ~stolen. or if his father ends up broke and actually sells him. :/
5:19 PM
Sophie: HAHA I SEX OK
UM. SEZ
me: HAHAHAHA
you sex okay
Sophie: i do ok
i thinks he gets sold :/
me: i knowwww ugh
5:20 PM
Sophie: which is like. gah.
me: i KNOW
Sophie: and can Bden get pissed at his dad?
or something?
me: yeah, totally
i see his dad eventually committing suicide though
once he realizes what he's done
maybe he was drunk when he sold him
Sophie: yeah
makes sense. in a morbid way
me: UGH POOR RYAN
5:21 PM
Sophie: why are we writing such depressing aus?
me: I DON'T KNOW
Sophie: they are aus. WE COULD HAVE UNICORNS
me: KIK!!!!!
er, LOL!!!
Sophie: lolol
me: YES
BRENODN RESCUES RYAN ON A UNICORN
LIKE IN PRIZONER OF AZKABAN
prisoner, even
Sophie: OMG YES
me: AND ITS NAME IS SPARKLES
Sophie: omg lol
5:22 PM
:D
okay. srs bsnss
*headdesk* that last bit was a joke. most of this is a joke. :P
what i wanted is for them to have a kiss (or maybe sex, once), and then the next day ryan is sold into slavery. brendon is present for it all, he's hanging onto the bars on the back of the carriage where ryan is locked in, their fingers overlapping as brendon promises him, "i'll come for you, i promise." and such begins the Quest.
also, thoughts for what ryan's dad's shop is? what kind of business? i have some ideas for how ry and bden meet; i think ryan sees him around a few times before, gets caught staring, etc., and then he finally runs into him (literally, b/c, cute) in the marketplace one day. and is utterly faily and shy and ends up running off. but bden just smiles after him because he's all hearteyes and stuff. ugh, so many ideas swarming in my head. all i want to do is sit and write them down all day, and instead i have to work. :(
i will jot down this one moment i don't want to forget. ryan and brendon sneak off during one point in their faily ~courtship and spend the afternoon by the river or something, sprawled on their backs watching the sun, and the subject of death comes up, and ryan talks about how you have to live each moment, b/c you could die the next (in typical melodramatic, morbid ross fashion :P), and bden's kinda quiet... and that night is the night he throws pebbles at ryan's window in the middle of the night (\o/!), and ryan opens up and lets him in (AHEM) and he's like wtf are you doing here dumbass, my dad will ACTUALLY MURDER YOU if he finds out. and bden just crowds him against the wall, breathless, their foreheads touching, hands joined, and says, "i know, i know, i just couldn't, what if we died and i'd never told you?" and ry's like, "told me what?" and bren says, "that i love you," like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and kisses him. UGH MY HEART. i really, really want them to have sex that one night, and then the next day ryan gets taken. :'( but, i also love the idea of them having their First Time years later... y'know... um... after ryan's been a SEX SLAVE for however many years, so, okay, maybe not. :P though, bden could teach him how sex is ~beautiful. *eyeroll* clicheeeeeeeeeee, ack! thoughts?
sigh. my brain. my life. enough of this nonsense.
no subject
OHMYGOD this just made me feel so much in one second I thought I was about to explode...
AND THEN YOU GO AND DO THIS:
He bows his head a little further, because there's no role he can't play, nothing he can't do. If -this man- came here to fuck the innocent boy buried in Ryan's heart, then Ryan will tear that out into the open and give it to the filth, because he doesn't need it anymore, doesn't need anything. This is what he is. This is what he is now. The tone of Ryan's voice is carefully measured--the tilt of his head, the spread of his legs as deliberate as ever, and he murmurs, quietly, 10 parts fake submission and 5 parts seduction and barely even a trace of defeat--"You can call me that if you like."
JUST IDEK. IDEFK....... 32GYWFBNVWHUEFNJEF8R2T7T4BE73W
SORRY, BRB, DYING OF AWESOME. AND HEARTBREAK. AND KEYSMASHES.
Just, that is such complete and utter genius, that Ryan thinks Brendon is just like all the others - that he's got absolutely nothing left to cling on to? Just, such perfection.
I'm gushing now so I'll stop. <3
no subject
no subject
OHGOD. Actually crying now. :(
And then Ryan's all like "I don't know who you are anymore. I thought I did but you're here and you're like a stranger now. The boy I loved once is dead"
Just... 04HNE0KAD8YN3QE0NEW89BNEWNW
Potential for some major angst here. Good. Colin'll like that. :P