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behindthecYeeeah... soooo... relatively NSFW...
We had loads of fun, but they... didn't quite turn out as artistically successful as we'd hoped. The lighting wasn't right (that's right - always blame the lighting :D) and we were both really wobbly and uncoordinated from sex... and for some reason we couldn't stop laughing. And the camera fell over a lot, which apparently was very funny to us at the time. I look scary in most of these (you should have seen the ones I'm NOT posting - I look like a vampire/zombie with blacked-out teeth... wtf), and for that I apologize. Keri looks hot as usual. Stupid cunt. :P
Anyway, earlier before the 'actual' pictures, she was wearing my favorite jeans and I told her to turn around so I could get a picture of her ass, because it looked fantastic.
So she did, because she is my whore that way:
And this is her world-famous "I am teh shizznit" look. Hell yes.
And I... look like some kind of school marm from that angle with my glasses...
I... really can't explain this. wtf.
Yeah. Very Bebe Neuwirth on the first one here. I think she was holding her breath for some reason... but you gotta love the fishnets. And the Fosse hat. Which not only looks good where it is, but serves a very practical purpose as well. (...the fishnets are crotchless.)
This one actually turned out relatively okay...
Example of scary!me.
I look kind of evil and Keri looks rather spaced out...
Now *I* actually look okay in this, I think, but the expression on Keri's face is priceless. To me it reads, "Help! She's squooshing me!" Word. (Because at 115 lbs I am so capable of squooshing anyone.)
"I told you I'm not good at modeling!" (actual line of the moment.)
I set out to prove her wrong, but she looks a little bit too happy about it (probably because she stopped in the middle of the "shoot" to fuck me again...):
If you look closely, yes, I'm flipping her off.
This had the potential to be quite cute, except for how OMG SCARY I LOOK. Note again the practical application of Fosse hat.
In addition, I got bored in class last night and wrote up an angsty rant on the state of being and not being a writer.
Which brings me to fanfic. The only pieces I am truly proud of are in this genre. I have written some damn good fanfic in many fandoms; I acuired quite a few adoring fans of my own because of it. I'm great at taking characters and doing things with them no one would think to do, still keeping them convincingly in-character, and doing it all with reasonable eloquence.
But where the hell is that going to get me?
You can't publish fanfic. And even if you could, let's be honest; fanfic carries the stigma (and rightfully so) of being the geeky brainchild of lonely emo gen-Y Internet whores with no life (believe me, I know; I was one). I don't want to be known for that! I want to write something that will solicit "Wow's" - not just from adoring professors or lonely emo fans, but from EVERYONE.
And that is the bottom line, I guess - the question of why I want that. Why I want to write at all. Well, of course it brings prestige. Good writing = intelligence. And honestly, it's the only thing I am actually good at that I care to be good at. The last phrase is crucial because there are other things I am, or was at one time, good at - piano, dancing, editing, etc. I can edit like whoa. I've proofread documents for people with PhD's. I am not a language/grammar whore, I am the language/grammar whore. I don't mean that to sound like l'm full of myself; it's just - how do I apply it? I know I have the capacity, but do I really care enough to fight to find some kind of niche?
I know one factor that plays in is that I just don't apply myself. I don't try hard because I just don't care quite enough. I'm too generally depressed and disgusted with the concept of existence to really muster the passion needed for good non-fanfic writing. And anyway, the only reason I wrote/read fanfic was because I had no life and I was single and horny; that was my outlet for fantasy. I don't write fic anymore for obvious reasons, nor do I do much of the fangirl thing in general. I just don't need to anymore. That void has been filled.
Anyway... I just want to be better at something than everyone else. And I'm not, because I guess I don't care enough. And it's not fucking fair.
So I'll just console myself with the fact that at least my wife is brilliant and hotter and better in bed than the wives of all the really phenomenal writers. So hehe.
This was all disappointingly inconclusive, at any rate.
Forgive the excess of cuts; they're a novelty to me and I like them so I'm going to exploit them for awhile.
OOOOOOH, I just heard that a movie (“A Good Woman”) with Helen Hunt and Scarlett Johansson (what a cast!) is coming to video next week... WTF... I never even heard of it until just now; I saw a preview on TV. It looks awesome. We so have to see it.
So at the grocery store in the health section they have a cereal called "Good Friends" (yes, that's the name of the cereal), and there are two different boxes currently displayed: they both boast closeups of two potentially dykey women beaming at the camera in front of a bowl of cereal. We are extremely amused by this. Lately, as in last night, Keri has taken to commenting on how one chick from the one box should actually be shown with one of the chicks from the other box, because "they're the hotter ones, and the other one looks like a horse."
I love how much of a man she can be about the attractiveness of women. :D
A great Seinfeld-esque conversation last night in the middle of foreplay (and no, this is not typical of our foreplay...):
Keri: I love you.
Me: I love you too... you're so beautiful...
K: Mmmm... so are you... *kisses me*
M: And even you weren't beautiful, I would still love you.
K: *smiles*
[brief interlude]
K: Even if I were a burn victim?
M: ...Yeah...
[brief interlude]
M: I probably wouldn't have emailed you back originally, but y'know.
K: Not even if I'd still had pretty eyes?
M: Well... *helpfully* I might have emailed you back out of pity...?
K: Dude, you could just put a paper bag over my head.
M: Yeah... well, wait, why would I put it over your *head*? I mean --
K: *giggles* You'd be like, yeah, I can still fuck that, I just can't look at the face.
M: ...Oh, so just your *face* is burned.
K: Yeah.
M: Okay. Yeah, I can do that.
I love us.
That first Xena ep with Tara is on right now... GOD I hate that bitch. What is UP with her hair, anyway?!
We should watch some more funny Xena eps this weekend... we had fun with that last week. Although there are a few dramatic supersubtexty ones I want to show her. Especially ones where Gab's hair is short, 'cause Keri prefers it short (as do I). ;)
I just had an amazing revelation. You're going to roll your eyes when you hear what it is, after I built it up like that. I'm watching Saved By the Bell: The College Years (SHUT UP), and Alex just did a Tori Spelling impersonation with this weird fish face that I SO FREAKING THOUGHT was my trademark fish face. Everyone loves my fish face. Everyone always asks me to do it. (I'll take a picture of me doing it and post it, I swear.) And now I just realized it was complete plagiarism (I used to watch SBTB religiously - I've certainly seen this ep before, years ago). Sigh. The horror. My life is sad now.
I am seriously jinxed. Every time on my journal or profile of something, whenever I finally think to add some note for horny guys not to contact me, or for creepy people not to friend me, and so on, what happens IMMEDIATELY AFTER?? Horny guys contact me. Creepy people friend me. And so on. :P (Example: see my “Also friend of” list... no, you have to actually look at their profile.)
Well, wish me luck. I am off to tackle Harry Potter. Heh, heh... er, that is, the game, in which I seem to be trapped (both literally and in the addicted kind of way). This afternoon I've got my copyeditor training with SHARE (it really is a kickass magazine, I'm so excited to be part of it - but it's really embarrassing that their last web designer allowed typos on the site - and they haven't gotten a new designer yet, hence the outdatedness), but until then, I belong to the boy who lived.
On a short sidenote, I'm still wondering whether or not I should submit one of my poetry attempts to SHARE for publication in the spring. The new rule is, staff members can only have one piece each published - but it's not like they're each guaranteed to get even one published. It's just weird because I've never tried to get anything published and if I weren't working for them, I'd have no problem submitting... but being part of the staff now, if they didn't accept any of my pieces (granted, I have a say in it too, but... so do like 8-10 other people), I'd feel so embarrassed and like a total loser.
I wish we could publish fic... hey, maybe I could take some of my best fic and turn it into an original short story. Ugh, no way.
Sigh. I feel another angsty writing rant coming on.
