Colin

i hate myself for being the bearer of bad news.  but.

fifteen years, and they pick three months after i fell in love with them to do this.

i've known all day/sort-of last night but it's just now finally sinking in, to the point that i can't look at pictures of them without crying.  i don't know how i'll ever be able to listen to the music.  and becca and i were waiting so desperately for the announcement of the february tour dates.

i just.  fuck.  it's a band, get over it.  this shouldn't hurt this much.  but god, it does.

it's thanksgiving.  okay.  i'm thankful i got to see them while they were still a band, and that i got to meet them, and tell them how much they meant to me, to us, how much joy they brought us.  and that they got to yell "hadouken" to becca over the phone.

fuck.  i'm going to stop now because i'm at work and i can't cry here.

boys, you will be missed beyond your wildest imagination.  please, please come back soon.

1. you guys ask awesome questions! :D  and i love how none of you chose to go anon.  that says something about how open and comfortable we are with each other, and that's awesome.  *smishes you all*

2. wtf is up with everyone being all "i really like your voice!"  ...who have you guys been listening to to make you think i have a good voice?  like, billy corgan?  LOL.  that song was so, so, so not in my key at ALL.  you're all sweet though. :P

3. i was in the car this morning listening to rocket summer (i'm having a total bryce renaissance lately), and i started crying during "do you feel."  for the first time in like, a thousand times i've heard that song?  it was (oh wow this sounds cliche and lame) like he was speaking directly to me.  like we were sitting down and having a conversation and he was calling me out.  i just.  wow.  it's been awhile since a song has done that to me.  it was amazing.

3b. in case you haven't seen my twitter... well, the latest update still makes me giggle. :P  (i would advise, though, maybe not getting so into the habit that you end up doing it at a concert. XD)  (have, THE.  haBITS.  had YOUOOO-OOUU-UUUU.  sorry, idk, idk.)

3c. before i go looking or trying to learn it myself by ear (or spend $500 on software that will isolate the piano part on the track so i can learn it easily :P), if anyone should happen to run across sheet music (even if it's shit somebody wrote by hand and scanned) or a youtube tutorial for "story" or "around the clock," i'd love you forever.  those are the two i really want to learn, and i can't find stuff for them anywhere.

4. BECCA.  COBRA STARSHIP.  THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY.  AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.  (watch her leave comments defending herself now.)  oh, but if you have any recs for good gabe/alex(suarez) fic, please leave them in the comments.  she apparently needs them like oxygen.

5. HOW HAS PHANTOM PLANET SURPASSED PANIC AS WEIRDEST BAND EVER.  JUST.  HOW.  now i know what darren meant when he said (to ME, HE SAID IT TO ME AFTER I TOOK A PICTURE WITH THEM AND WAS TELLING THEM HOW MUCH I LOVE THEIR BLOGS XD) that jeff had some awesome blogs coming.

6. I SEE ALL TIME LOW TONIGHT!!!!!!!!  saekjnhkfhaieh4rka3jh4;aiosg

7. chapter 8 should be up possibly today, definitely by tomorrow.  so there. :D

LOOK, LOOK WHAT SHE GOT ME.  LOOK HOW MUCH BECCA LOVES ME.  OMFG.  LOVES.  ME.  NOT EVEN CUTTING.   DARREN/SAM OTP. XDDDDDDDD

ETA: becca finds the best things ever.  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

subject line = no relevance; i've just been on a p.o. renaissance lately and that's the line currently stuck in my head.

so, okay.  chapter 8?  does not want to be written.  which, like, wtf, b/c i REALLY WANT TO WRITE IT.  it's one of those "omg i can't wait to write this scene!" chapters.  so, FAIL, SOMETHING.  IDK WHAT, BUT, SOMETHING IS FAIL HERE.  help?  write me drabble porn in the comments?

( phanplan/ryan-loves-alex rambling )

also, fail, gchat.  fail.

ETA: by comment request, links to some of the vids.  some of them you have to watch all the way through to catch stuff, but they're awesome anyway.  alex playing acoustic, hai.  also there is the vid of ryan riding around stage on alex's shoulders, and a pic i've got somewhere of them both on stage, with ryan and this MASSIVE grin.  and so on.
- the infamous council bluffs vid, with ryan's shirt entirely unbuttoned, and other things.
- random ryan performing with them on "do the panic"
- "i don't mind", 1:05-ish on.  jesus christ, ross.
- "all over again" + PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WTF
- "dropped"... ryan's also there for no reason
- "raise the dead"... ryan's there, idek.  lol
- "quarantine"... etc.
- "ship lost at sea" -- now this one is a gem, b/c of ryan's dumbass comments at the beginning (<3 <3 <3) and the fact that he's like, got his arm around alex if you watch to the end.  wtf.

there are more, but i've got work to do. :)

it's official.

if you care to join us, here's some more fuel for the fire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3xYk8Cu4sY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34ci5k5tLo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKlC9m8c9IE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cfhzi0BEudU

our SOLAG(APP) is very ryan/spencer-esque; we've both discovered we've actually known them since like, '98 and '03, respectively.  and all of a sudden it's like WOW I LOVE YOU.

if anyone wants to write me some ryan/alex, i'll love you forever.  i totally have an outline for a fic, but i can't write it, b/c, pwf duties.  fail.

p.s. i am entirely convinced "do the panic" (which i totally can't stop listening to) is about gang-banging the PATD boys.

ETA: jesus, TAI owns my heart.  the END, OMG, GABILLIAM!!!!!!  rotflmao!!!!  (dude why can't the phantom boys have their own show?  oh right, b/c the world would implode upon itself.)