Purple bleeds into pink on the horizon, the clouds heavy and low in the sky, and Brendon feels as though he is watching the sun sink into the water sloshing around his feet, watching as it goes out forever instead of just for the night. He stands on the beach, notebook in hand, and suddenly he can't remember how he thought coming to write out here would be a good idea. The sights are much too distracting, and there is something else, something bothering him.
They are somewhere in Thailand, and all Brendon can think about is Switzerland.
Nobody has mentioned it yet. Brendon was convinced that Jon, or Spencer, would have something to say, but everyone's acting like it never happened. If Brendon hadn't caught the looks they sent each other, he might have thought he'd been dreaming. The worst part, the part that's got Brendon acting like he is now, feeling like he can't take a deep breath, is Ryan. Ryan, who has all but locked himself away from his band, who hasn't spoken much about anything important, who is apparently determined to ignore everything that happened.
Brendon doesn't know what to think. The week they spent in that cabin, surrounded by snow and mountains and certainty, that this was what they wanted, this was going to be okay, could have never happened with all the acknowledgement it's getting know. And this frustrates Brendon more than anything. How have they not talked about this? Haven't they been through enough together that this would be easy? Sighing, he slumps down into the sand, notebook and pen hanging limply from his hands, the tide coming up to surround him and then pull back just as quickly. The beach is pretty much empty right now, since it's just about suppertime and tourists are probably eating in the lavish restaurants close by or ordering room service. Brendon is thankful for the silence, even if it leaves him vulnerable to the doubting and sadness and anger. Doubting because he's starting to think that nothing will ever be the same, ever again. Sadness because he fucking trusted Ryan, okay, and now his feelings aren't being acknowledged, much less returned. Anger because, who the fuck do they think they are, treating each other like this?
This one's going to be a bit more angsty, but only because i can and because the next one is going to be the intense sex.
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Date: 2008-12-25 04:03 pm (UTC)Purple bleeds into pink on the horizon, the clouds heavy and low in the sky, and Brendon feels as though he is watching the sun sink into the water sloshing around his feet, watching as it goes out forever instead of just for the night. He stands on the beach, notebook in hand, and suddenly he can't remember how he thought coming to write out here would be a good idea. The sights are much too distracting, and there is something else, something bothering him.
They are somewhere in Thailand, and all Brendon can think about is Switzerland.
Nobody has mentioned it yet. Brendon was convinced that Jon, or Spencer, would have something to say, but everyone's acting like it never happened. If Brendon hadn't caught the looks they sent each other, he might have thought he'd been dreaming. The worst part, the part that's got Brendon acting like he is now, feeling like he can't take a deep breath, is Ryan. Ryan, who has all but locked himself away from his band, who hasn't spoken much about anything important, who is apparently determined to ignore everything that happened.
Brendon doesn't know what to think. The week they spent in that cabin, surrounded by snow and mountains and certainty, that this was what they wanted, this was going to be okay, could have never happened with all the acknowledgement it's getting know. And this frustrates Brendon more than anything. How have they not talked about this? Haven't they been through enough together that this would be easy? Sighing, he slumps down into the sand, notebook and pen hanging limply from his hands, the tide coming up to surround him and then pull back just as quickly. The beach is pretty much empty right now, since it's just about suppertime and tourists are probably eating in the lavish restaurants close by or ordering room service. Brendon is thankful for the silence, even if it leaves him vulnerable to the doubting and sadness and anger. Doubting because he's starting to think that nothing will ever be the same, ever again. Sadness because he fucking trusted Ryan, okay, and now his feelings aren't being acknowledged, much less returned. Anger because, who the fuck do they think they are, treating each other like this?
This one's going to be a bit more angsty, but only because i can and because the next one is going to be the intense sex.