Colin

right. they say you usually don't die *from* AIDS, you die from getting a normal infection that turns bad b/c of the disease. though, i don't want him to just go around sick the whole time. i figure this'll probably cover a year, year and a half at most, from the time he finds out he's positive. BUT, it'll help that he's supposedly been positive for close to two years (he remembers the specific incident; a one-night-stand when the condom broke, though the guy had claimed he was clean, so bden never worried). so no, brendon wasn't keeping it from anyone; as soon as he gets tested and fins out, he tells everyone. (and ryan cries. a lot. :( )

god; i don't think i'd want to do the brain one. i want him to stay lucid and normal. i'm already torturing him enough. :(

thing is, i'm not sure i want to write the actual death. like, because then i'd have to write the funeral. and i don't know if i could. the fic will end either when he's really close, and he (and spence and the others) finally reach some kind of peace about it... or, it'll end right after the funeral, with spence and jon and ryan driving out to the desert to smoke up and blast their own albums from the car stereo; something simple like that. oh god. just thinking about that is making my eyes sting. fuck. i think i'll have to do that. :/

anyway, thanks for the info! i shall come to you again. AND BREAK YOU WITH THE ANGST.

<3