yeah, i should try it out again. the times i've tried before, i was still in a place where i was extremely shy, and i've gotten better about that, so. yeah. it's just a matter of making myself do it. it'll be something to shoot for.
i actually *have* cheated on keri (not with sex, but still, drunken makeouts count big time), more than once, but i know i wouldn't do it again. so yeah, that makes everything even harder on us. for her, it doesn't really matter that i'm sacrificing something; her view is that it shouldn't BE a sacrifice, i should just want her and only her and that's it. and anything less is unacceptable. and i respect her views, but i can't help how i feel, i just can't. she's asking for me to be something i'm not, and i can't give her that. she's extremely black-and-white about this stuff.
it really does mean a lot that you understand. age isn't... i mean, sure, there are things in your life you haven't experienced that i have, i guess, but age is just a number. i definitely connect with you in ways i don't with most people my own age or older.
i've definitely thought about "finding" a band, just to chill with and jam with, nothing huge or epic. but even just finding people i connect with on that level is daunting. i don't even know how i'd start. but it's something to think about, i guess.
anyway, thank you, i really appreciate all your words, every time. <3 it means a lot.
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Date: 2009-04-13 01:15 pm (UTC)i actually *have* cheated on keri (not with sex, but still, drunken makeouts count big time), more than once, but i know i wouldn't do it again. so yeah, that makes everything even harder on us. for her, it doesn't really matter that i'm sacrificing something; her view is that it shouldn't BE a sacrifice, i should just want her and only her and that's it. and anything less is unacceptable. and i respect her views, but i can't help how i feel, i just can't. she's asking for me to be something i'm not, and i can't give her that. she's extremely black-and-white about this stuff.
it really does mean a lot that you understand. age isn't... i mean, sure, there are things in your life you haven't experienced that i have, i guess, but age is just a number. i definitely connect with you in ways i don't with most people my own age or older.
i've definitely thought about "finding" a band, just to chill with and jam with, nothing huge or epic. but even just finding people i connect with on that level is daunting. i don't even know how i'd start. but it's something to think about, i guess.
anyway, thank you, i really appreciate all your words, every time. <3 it means a lot.