took a shot and didn't even come close

[behindthec]

redorchids is writing a pccf scene (twitterwars!) and needs more badfic! she has requested the following:

"joncer badfic: a bj scene that's written by a 12-year-old virgin who clearly has no idea about what's hot and what's not, what a dick looks like or how a bj even works. something like theohara's buffy badfic. LOL. teeth. wrong use of teeth. gallons of precome. come spelled cum. insanely crappy grammar. using other sex words like "rimming" in the wrong context, thinking they mean something else. should be spencer going down on jon and just outrageous. preferably schmoopy as hell too. in a completely unrealistic context. like stockholm syndrom with spence as jon's sex slave or something. idk, you make something up. LOL"

i know it seems all i post are requests lately, but this is FUN, and besides, you're getting chapter 8 soon. i'm a little stuck on the climax scene, but i'll get there.

thanks to everyone who found my hat. you guys are clearly better sleuths than i am. <3

Comments

[candiedpeaches.livejournal.com]

IKR?

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

Dude, yours had accidental pwf references XD PALM TREE COCK. *SINGING PALM TREE COCK*. I think our badfics need to have horrific badfic sex and have lots of little badfic children via horrendous mpreg badfic XD It would be epic :P

[the-randomist.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD.
OMG
AHAHA WIN

[candiedpeaches.livejournal.com]

j_slash's fic pounded its rock hard dick into candiedslash's asshole, quickly adjusting to the pain. it soon found it was pleasureable and moaned loudly like a cheap cat slut in the heat.

soon j_slash was cumming so hard it shook with pleasure. candiedslash couldn't believe how fucking amazing it felt to be fucked so hard.

nine months later, they found out that candiedslash was pregnant when he went into labor. they knew that they had done some horrible shit becuase their fic!baby looked nothing like what a normal fic!baby should....

[OMG]

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

For a start, their newborn ficbaby had an ENORMOUS BOUNTEOUS FLESH HORN!!1!!!11!!

Right XD

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD That was the *only* way to adequately represent how hard I am laughing :P

'A cheap cat slut in heat' may be the best phrase *EVER* XD

[candiedpeaches.livejournal.com]

the ENORMOUS BOUNTEOUS FLESH HORN was as big as jon walkers!!!!!! which nobody knew was possible! except for.... the fic!baby's identical twin!!!



this is the greatest post colin has ever made. i've decided this. we should get colin to read this if he hasn't already.

at first it was just a cheap slut in the heat, and then i was like, ...humans don't really get 'in the heat' so i put cat in front.

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

And the identical twin was...Spencer as a girl! She had big blue eyes like big blue circles of blue paint and soft blonde hair made of honey and sunshine. "OMG" said Jon "Spencer look the ficbabies are us!1!!"
"Oh no!" said Spencer "but jon! They wont be able to fall in love and have hot boisecks like us becoz one of them is a girl and we only love boys!"
"Yur right!" cried Jon in distress "we must find a way to turn girl!baby!Spencer into a boy!"
Spencer nodded seriously, because spencer is the one who thinks seriouzly about things (omg canon guyz!!1! =O XD XD XD). "This is going to take a lot of thinking." he decided. "We should have sex jon, we always think better when were having sex. Will you put your pulsating manmeat in me? I feel so empty without your bounteous flesh horn stretching my shriveled entrance."

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

Cheap cat slut in heat = my new favourite phrase XD You win :P

[yrclndstnlvr.livejournal.com]

seriously, this is AMAZING.
idk how you do it....i CANNOT write bad!fic to save my life...but hahahah, this was sooo funny. thanks for that.

:D

[candiedpeaches.livejournal.com]

THAT LAST LINE. I WILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO TOP THAT LINE. EVER.

so they fucked a lot. they then decided to steal the two children and get the girl a sex change.

they figured if they did it soon enough, the baby girl would just grow boy hormones and become like a real boy. like pinnocio or however you spell his name. except this did not require a fairy but rather it required science!!!!!!!!!!!

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

Haha, it takes a surprising amount of effort, lol ;D Glad everyone enjoyed it :)

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

Awww, dude, that's no fun :P Someone has to top it XD

"SCIENCE JON WALKER, SCIENCE!1!!' yelled Brendon (coz it seems like sumthing Brden would say so hez in this now! =O =)))) )
And sure enough, before long, the formerly!girl!baby!Spencer was sprouting a monstrous man meat of his/her own!

Then 10 or a bit more yrs later the babies were old enough to have boisecks! Their adopted parents (coz jon and spence werent really their parents and the goverment didnt think badfics were good parents) told them they could not do stuff together coz they were brothers but they hid in their room and had lots and lots of buttsecks!!1!11!!! Coz they were in LOVE!!! Cause ythey were both boys now. And jon 2nd who was still bigger than baby Spencer cause even though he was a boy now and grown up he was still kind of girly and liked pink and was small and stuff so he could be the girl like spencer had an even bigger, hotter pensi than real jon! It was like *4* palm trees!!!!!1!!!!1!

(sorry, this is way too much fun :P)

[o-nyx-o.livejournal.com]

*squirms* I feel uncomfortable reading the bad fic. But then again, that means the writer has done a great job. XD

[candiedpeaches.livejournal.com]

they soon took lessons from mikey and gerard way becuase they had been fucking each other since they were young. which was a long time ago, like 10 years. when the two bad!ficlettes were babes.



ahem. waycest is hot. thankyouverymuch.

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

Thaaaat's what I was waiting for XD XD XD Hehehe. (I've never actually read MCR fic, lol, but every ficdom has its brothers pairing XD Vital part of fandom XD)

And so grown-up!baby!badfic!Jon and grown-up!baby!formerly!girl!badfic!Spencer and real Jon and real Spencer and Gerard and Mikey Way all had lots of happy boisecks together, until the whole house was flooded from their delicious cumming, and everyone was happy. The end. God I hope ;D

Hehehehehehehe XD

[candiedpeaches.livejournal.com]

ASDFLKASJKLFSA HAHAAH. grown-up!baby!bad!fic!Jon and grown-up!baby!bad!fic!Spencer!!!!!! MY LIIIIIIFE IS COMPLETEEEEEEEE.

they all almost drowned in the cum until real!spencer drank it all with jon's cock in his mouth because it was like swallowing a tidal wave with a palm tree in his mouth. the real end.

[candiedpeaches.livejournal.com]

I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED MY GOAL.

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

Haha, don't worry, I felt *intensely* uncomfortable writing mine :P It took like 2 hours 'cause I spent more time flailing and hitting my hands on things in the process than actually bringing myself to type XD

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

Almost :P To edit :P

They all almost drowned in the oceans of cum until real!spencer drank it all with jon's bounteous singing flesh horn in his mouth because it was like swallowing a tidal wave with a palm tree in his mouth.

XD I think that's the best of both fics ;D

THE REAL END.

We are awesome XD

[zaqqi.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I can't get the image of Spencer choking to death on waterfuls of 'pearly water' out of my head.
It's not even a good image!
Dude, come every fucking where.
Ugh.
Imma go wash my hands.
(also LOVE! FREAKING LOVE)

[j-plash.livejournal.com]

Hehehehe, glad you enjoyed ;D

(that image is so horrible, lol. It broke my brain XD)

[zaqqi.livejournal.com]

(just returning the favour... :P)

[alphabetatoast.livejournal.com]

YES DO ITTTTTT

We could all totally leave you ideas for the next prompt after writing each badfic... like one Sunday we do the popping-cherry one and after writing the fic, we suggest ideas for next week's prompt.

OK, you actually gotta do this now! And everyone has to contribute even if it's just a line! XD

(Would totally use to word pip and stone and stem in the cherry fic... i actually want badfic involving cherries NAO.)

[alphabetatoast.livejournal.com]

IAWTC
See. I have good ideas. \0/
*smug smile*

[xoxo-wentz.livejournal.com]

Wow. You're right.
Like, explosive. It would be very dangerous. o.o