took a shot and didn't even come close
Apr. 26th, 2009 09:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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redorchids is writing a pccf scene (twitterwars!) and needs more badfic! she has requested the following:"joncer badfic: a bj scene that's written by a 12-year-old virgin who clearly has no idea about what's hot and what's not, what a dick looks like or how a bj even works. something like theohara's buffy badfic. LOL. teeth. wrong use of teeth. gallons of precome. come spelled cum. insanely crappy grammar. using other sex words like "rimming" in the wrong context, thinking they mean something else. should be spencer going down on jon and just outrageous. preferably schmoopy as hell too. in a completely unrealistic context. like stockholm syndrom with spence as jon's sex slave or something. idk, you make something up. LOL"
i know it seems all i post are requests lately, but this is FUN, and besides, you're getting chapter 8 soon. i'm a little stuck on the climax scene, but i'll get there.
thanks to everyone who found my hat. you guys are clearly better sleuths than i am. <3
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:29 pm (UTC)OH. How about... "Spencer nibbled the head of Jon's manhood. Jon tasted like ham."
o_0
I think it actually takes talent to write bad fic (just a different type of talent), so I'm stuck here. /o\
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:42 pm (UTC)Because I am terrified of it actually turning out how I usually write bj scenes, and that would not be good.
Oh Lord. I am looking forward to what other people have in store though.
come spelled cum
ULTIMATE PET HATE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER. *brain implodes and dies*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:45 pm (UTC)Fucking hell. *Dude*.
That's brilliant XD
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:50 pm (UTC)porngood. :-)Here's the link to theohara badfic btw. It's pretty much the most genious thing ever written. So, like, no pressure. LOL.
http://theohara.livejournal.com/183159.html
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 01:59 pm (UTC)okay, I'll stop now.
i no can writes for yuo, must do all work put off all week. BUT I WILL READ ALL THE PORN THAT IS GIVEN TO YOU AND LAUGH!
<333
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 02:01 pm (UTC)that the fic should totally have like... someone's come tasting AMAZING. like... sweet or some shit like that. and the BJ give can't get enough of it. =D
just a tought
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 02:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 02:19 pm (UTC)it does take talent... but you could totally pull it off! all the best badfic i've gotten out of these request posts comes from great writers.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 02:20 pm (UTC)damn it, everyone keeps saying "oh i won't write it but i can't wait to read it." PEOPLE. LAZY. :P
dude yes. and past tense especially, "he cummed." ;aslkerjpaiofvpaiwp!!!!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 02:20 pm (UTC)yay! *adds it to entry*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 02:24 pm (UTC)kay, you work. let the rest of the internet take this one.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 02:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 03:12 pm (UTC)LMAO, it's too long for one comment XD WHAT HAVE I DONE??? XD Splitting in two, lol :P
K, here goes *dies*.
spencer cried in the dark room with concrete floors and a chair and no light or windows and the door locked from the outside, and his tears fell on his rock hard wiener. when jon first locked him in the basement spencer missed ryan and brendon and his mom but spencer could never be mad at jon walker and now he just misses jon's enormous manmeat when jon isn't here. Jon's penis is so delicious, spencer spends all his time thinking about it and it makes his erection hard and erect all day long. he cums over and over again all day long until he is in a puddle of his own creamy white juice.
then jon walker opens the door! spencer screams with joy and tries to stand up but his puckered anus is too sore from getting brutally but lovingly pounded so much all day.
"you are covered in your own pearly water" says jon "does that mean you want to suck on my manhood?"
Spencer CRIES again cause he is so happy. "yes jon, please let me suck on your penis, please jon walker, I love you so much, you are so yummy i want to drink your sperm all day long!!"
Jon smiled happily and sat on Spencer's chest. "ok spence, i'm going to fuck your facepussy now." and he pulled his hard leaking member out of his exploding jeans (cause his throbbing penis was so huge it was making them explode)
spencer opened his mouth wide and jon held his pulsating manrod out so his precum poured into spencers mouth and almost choked him, but spencer swallowed it all and loved it. it gurgled a bit in his throat and jon laughed at how funny spencer was when he was drinking jons semen locked in his basement. then he said "are you ready me spencey baby" and spencer answered "yes im always ready for you jon, I love you" and Jon sat on spencers face and moaned loudly at the feel of spencer's hot wet mouth sucking on his androgynous zone.
"i love you so much jon" spencer said around jon's huge dick in his mouth and jon bounced more on spencers face.
"fuck me harder!" spencer yelled with jon's inflated erection down his throat, and jon sighed happily and pounded spencer's head into the floor, enjoying the feel of his balls flapping against spencers swelled pink lips.
[Cont. next comment... XD]
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 03:12 pm (UTC)then jon realised he couldnt see Spencer and he kidnapped spencer as his sex slave because he is so pretty when his beard has been shaved off (which it has when he arrived) so he gets off spencer. "Jon!" spencer cried "was i bad!"
"no" jon smiles gently and kisses spencers wet mouth "but you are such a good cocksucking slut when you are on your knees and i love you so much, i want to see your hot mouth wrapped around my burning penis because you should never do anything else ever"
Spencer sighed happily as he got up onto his knees "thats why you took me here!"
Yes Jon nodded and then gasped and grabbed Spencer's head hard as he sucked on Jons leaking member and immediately sucked it all the way down his throat.
"oh spencey baby your so good at this" jon moaned loudly. Spencer looked so hot on his knees with his mouth open wide sucking on jons huge erection. "im so glad youre my own slave and know how to swallow me so good." and then he started thrusting into Spencer's throat, fucking his mouth and his throat, feeling his uvula and vocal chords tickling his huge boner.
Then spencer started choking, but jon pulled his head forward and fucked his mouth harder and spencer was so happy cause only Jon knew how much he is turned on by jon pounding into his throat so hard.
Jon's creamy precum is pouring down spencers throat in milky waterfalls and spencer can feel he was close, so he opens his mouth wider and sucks on jons balls as well, which are huge too. "oh jon" he exclaims with his mouth stuffed full of Jon-meat, "you taste just like ham!"
"make me cum spencer!" jon cries
So spencer pulls off jon's member and jon gasps "is my pulsating manrod too big for you?"
but spencer just bites all along the side of jon's penis hard enough to leave deep marks, so that jon screams with pleasure.
Spencer's teeth dig into the head of Jon's bursting monstercock (which he noticed was bigger than ryans) and then he licks the teeth marks on Jon's weeping, enormous member like a delectable gourmet lollypop.
"Graaaagh!" Jon yelled and squealed deeply as he spurted creamy white sperm all over Spencer's face and hair and ears and the floor. Spencer tried to lick as much of it up as he could because jon's cum was just as delicious as he dreamed about while jon was away, but it was so delicious that he wanted to have a huge orgasm, the biggest one he'd ever had, even bigger than the 27 he had had all day, because the creamy liquid all over his face and in his eyes was such a big turn on.
Spencer blinked some of the juice out of his eyes and begged jon "please jon, am i allowed to cum now?" and jon smiled indulgently and said "yes you can my spencey slave".
He bent down to gently stroke spencer's hot and pulsing penis but as soon as he touched him Spencer cummed really hard with a loud scream of ecstasy. His sperm flew all over the room, joining all the other puddles, and some even got on the ceiling.
Spencer bit his lip when some of his cum dripped from the ceiling and hit jon on the head. "im sorry jon" he started but jon interrupted and kissed his wet, dripping mouth again, and wiped some of the pearly cream off his face. "it doesn't matter spencer, i love you."
Spencer smiled. "i love you too jon."
"Will you always stay here and be my sex slave?" jon asked?
"yes" spencer beamed "i need you so much and i always want you to fuck me and let me suck your cock. but what will we tell ryan and brendon and pete?"
"We won't tell them anything" said jon, "your going to stay down here and be mine forever, arent you?"
"of course!" spencer exclaimed.
"Good" jon smiled. "then i will tell ryan and brendon and pete that we are in love and you dont want to see them anymore."
"ok." agreed spencer happily.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 03:16 pm (UTC)spencer opened his mouth wide and jon held his pulsating manrod out so his precum poured into spencers mouth and almost choked him, but spencer swallowed it all and loved it. it tasted like ambrosia and fairy floss and CHRISTMAS, and spencer strained eagerly up toward Jon, desperate to suck on his bountiful flesh-horn. Jon's cum gurgled a bit in his throat... etc
BOUNTIFUL FLESH HORN
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 03:17 pm (UTC)*dies*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 03:18 pm (UTC)J you made my day!
*can now go back to reading about WWII in peace*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 03:24 pm (UTC)Spencer gazed up lovingly into Jon's chocolatey brown eyes, and Jon gazed back into Spencer's limpid pools of sky blue, all their love for each other pouring between their connected souls as jon thrust his manroot in and out of spencer plush candy pink lips
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 03:25 pm (UTC)That is all :P
(*is also procrastinating* Editing static out of voice recordings is the *only* thing worse than writing badporn :P)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 03:29 pm (UTC)you win.
holy shit.
yes. this is perfect. i'm using this.
thank you <3
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-26 03:32 pm (UTC)it makes his erection hard and erect
LIKE WATER MAKES THE LAKE WET. OR SOMETHING.
tries to stand up but his puckered anus is too sore from getting brutally but lovingly pounded so much all day.
"you are covered in your own pearly water" says jon
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK. I CAN NEVER WRITE SLASH AGAIN.
"ok spence, i'm going to fuck your facepussy now." and he pulled his hard leaking member out of his exploding jeans (cause his throbbing penis was so huge it was making them explode)
i do not have a comment for this.
spencer's hot wet mouth sucking on his androgynous zone.
ALKSJE4HIAFOWIERKESJHRIUYAOERHALWUAO (laughed so hard omg my mom kept asking me what was so funny and got mad when i wouldn't tell her)
with jon's inflated erection down his throat,
this just gives me images of helium, or an air mattress. (...i once filled an air mattress with helium. did not work. was young (OKAY 18) and not scientific.)
feeling his uvula and vocal chords tickling his huge boner.
!!!!!!!!! CHORDS!!!
pouring down spencers throat in milky waterfalls
fandom, goodbye forever.
like a delectable gourmet lollypop.
jeez, why don't they sell that shit at the lindt store in the mall.
His sperm flew all over the room, joining all the other puddles, and some even got on the ceiling.
I HAVE IMAGES OF IT BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. LIKE A SUPERBALL.
you are my favourite forever and ever the end.