Colin

Does it say something for my level of maturity that I never cease to be amused by the following sort of spam?

"pretty-pretty familly harrdcore fuckiing!"

 

That one is vaguely reminiscent of five-dolla-sucky-sucky.  Some of my recent favorites include "goluptious [yes, goluptious] virgins!" and "pulchritudinous incest scenes!" I know they're going for the root "pulchra" (Latin = beautiful) but is pulchritudinous really a word?  And if it is, it is so awkward that it should be banned from use.

I know they're doing it to beat the spam blockers, but clearly it isn't working.  No mind; I derive joy from it and that's all that matters.

 

Awhile ago I had to walk a wheeled (though feebly so) cooler over to the Science Building.  (To put that in perspective, it is like 85 degrees out today and the Science Building is the farthest possible building from where I work.  Death to all.)  Outside the Science Building was a broom.  A little beat-up, but overall an average looking broom, save for one thing: the sweeper end was seriously damaged.  There is absolutely no other description for the way it looked other than to say it appeared that someone had flown it in a Quidditch match and suffered a minor accident.

 

I was very pleased.

 

Earlier on another work-related delivery, these guys were playing frisbee outside the Student Center, and as I walked by, the frisbee flew toward me and landed on the ground nearby.  Normally, this sort of gesture might be interpreted as flirtation, which I am certainly used to from guys, because let's face it, I'm 5' 9" and I have nice long legs.  Which I like to show off.  However, there is a glitch:

 

a) I went way butch today.  I've been femme-ing it up the last couple weeks and I didn't want my new classmates to think I'm some sort of girly LUG or something.  Shudder.

b) When I threw the frisbee back to them, one of the guys said "Thanks, man."  I nodded in a very man-like manner, and if I'm not mistaken, I believe he added (though more quietly) something to the effect of, "I mean, uh..." which suggests he originally thought I was a guy.

 

I don't often get mistaken for a guy - neither Keri nor I are particularly butch (we can go either way depending on our moods), and I'm more femme than not, so when it does happen, it amuses me greatly.

 

Heh; it's so fucking awesome to be able to go over and read my ex's journal every couple months and *not* have it drive me to some mad wild state of anger and hatred anymore.  Now I can just read it and sincerely feel nothing but apathy.  And amusement, because she is still writing in the exact same I'm-from-Harvard-so-I'm-naturally-witty style (which gets exceedingly dull and predictable after a short while), and writing the same dykey political rants and acting like she's just such a good person.

 

It makes me laugh. :-D

 

Oh; she's slammerkinbabe, if anyone wants to go play with her.  I suppose if she's not your ex she'd probably make a nice, interesting addition to your friends list.  She's a good, sweet, intelligent person.  But I hate her.  She left me at the very moment I needed her most, and it almost killed me.  So don't judge me.  T'ank you.

 

It is especially fantastic because she is not a physically attractive person and we both know she's never going to get someone like me in her bed ever again.  (Not that I'm Angelina Jolie, but compared to my ex, well, I am.)  She's short and fat and so is her girlfriend and I know it's very mean and admittedly a dirt-cheap shot but I'm so glad Keri and I are so much hotter than they are.  I'm way better than her (and all the people who ignored me through adolescence) at getting chicks and I just happened to get my soulmate in the process.  So yes; it makes me happy because I am immature that way.

 

Not many things make me happy so I take what I can get. :P

 

Keri at lunch: "If I don't get to fuck you tonight I'M GOING TO GO CRAZY."

 

She threw me up against the bathroom wall shortly after - rather forcefully, actually (not that I'm complaining).  It was a miracle I didn't crack my head open.

Anyway, she can fuck me all she wants, but she's not getting any herself because she was up till 3a.m. getting herself off.  Because apparently she really wanted me and I wasn't there.  But that is no excuse.  Whore.  Obviously she doesn't need MY help. :P

We shared sesame chicken and our fortune cookies told me I was going to be presented with a musical opportunity soon (...Keri then asked me if I wanted to go on the Warp Tour; I did not - screw you, musical opportunities) and told Keri that she would be involved in some humanitarian project soon.  Not bloody likely.

 

Since I am new here and so everyone will love me (God, I am a whore), here are three fantastic links (though sadly everyone has probably seen them already).  These are especially for Sarah, who was bored and wanted links. :P

 

 

There.  Eat them up.  Or suck it. :P

Twenty minutes before my Shakespeare class... there was no way I was going to lug the 40-lb book to campus so I found the readings online and am playing the if-the-browser-window-is-open-then-it-counts-as-studying game perusing them now.

Word.