PCCF Q&A (beware of spoilers)

[behindthec]

so i was going to wait a couple days for everything to settle, but i'm already bored and missing my fic, so. several ppl have been asking stuff about the vid, and leaving epic comments and not wanting to let go of it and such, so redorchids suggested having a pccf Q&A, since apparently neither of us is ready to let go of this fic, either. red sez:

So. 93k words of fic. One hell of a ride, during which there was lots of cutting, re-writing, debating and flailing over things. Some of the stuff that didn't make it will end up in a Director's Cut kind of deal eventually, but until then, we thought we'd pass the time by letting anyone who wants ask any question about pccf, the writing of it, inspiration, the vid--anything really.

Want to know the story behind Ryan's safeword? Where all the French came from? What was going through Ryan's head during the spooning!sex? What sparked this or that scene? Who wrote what? What movie the naked boys on the bed in the vid are from? Something else? Put your question in a comment, and we will get back to you. :-)

Sincerely,
Us

i'd like to add that this doubles as something akin to that timestamp post that was going around some weeks back, where if you give me a point in time in the future of this fic, i'll write you 100 words of what's going on in that moment. or something. it may not be 100 words or formal fic, but i'll certainly tell you what's going on. :P i had a great image last night of jon and spencer pounding on ryan and brendon's hotel room door some 10-12 months later and bellowing, "are you done fucking yet?" jon adds, "we have popcorn." zack adds, "and beer," and brendon's sold.

so, ask away.

Comments

[stereotypeloser.livejournal.com]

hmmmmmm.... -strokes chin-

[lolab.livejournal.com]

:P

[lplilly93.livejournal.com]

Yeah, okay.
The scene at the docks in the last chapter. Was it inspired by "Summerstorm"? :)

[lolab.livejournal.com]

more like the other way around, lol. the dock scene came to us a long time ago, and then i found those clips, and i went psycho flailed at her, "LOOK, LOOK, DOCKSEX, PUT THIS IN THE VID!" so it was pretty awesome. :D

[kaytvengeance.livejournal.com]

oh god the potential.

Because I am lazy and don't trust internet translations, what was the french in Spencer's tweet in the last part?

Also, on a vaguely timestampy note, do they ever have an actual wedding night?

[lolab.livejournal.com]

red will have to answer the first question (i think she's gone to bed rn :P); that was her scene. i totally can't remember.

hmmmm. i think they just might, yes. ;) a few years from now. not sure if it's going to be in tuscany; i'm thinking the wedding was there, but maybe they took off for greece or something after that. or possibly venice. i love venice. i see them there. i see them near water. i see sand and open balcony doors at night, curtains flowing in the breeze as they make love on the bed, moving together in the shadows with the glow of sunset over their skin...

*sighs dreamily*...

[(Anonymous)]

sorry i don't have a livejournal, but i was wondering - at the very beginning of chapter one where the "moments" were introduced, what question was being asked which Brendon answered with a yes? I'm probably missing something obvious haha, but i just wasn't sure.

and the story is the best i've ever read, by the way. EVER.

[lolab.livejournal.com]

hmm... i had to go back and read to check, LOL. let me see if i got this right -- are you referring to this?

If it -- It, capital It -- had never happened two years ago in the middle of the north Nevada mountains one hour before sunset (first moment), no one would be knocking on Brendon's door in a minute and a half (second). But it did, and they will. The person will ask a question (third), and that moment will take a yes or a no. The moment before Brendon answers will be fourth, fifth will be when Brendon says yes, and from there, a thousand more will be set in place, one domino lined up after another.

okay -
1st - the kiss, 2 yrs ago.
2nd - ryan knocks on his door.
3rd - ryan asks him to go on a road trip. so, that's what he says yes to.

does that make sense? i realize it was a very abstracty sort of intro. :P

and thank you so much! i'm happy you enjoyed it.

[bunniesontoast.livejournal.com]

what was the story behind Ryan's safeword?

and

how did Bden get to be with Shane before he goes to the cabin with ryro?

[and how is Shane filled with so much win just genearlly? lol.]

[bunniesontoast.livejournal.com]

*generally, rather. fuck rsi and the induced typing fail.

[guilt-lines.livejournal.com]

I can has Chapter 9 nao pls?

there's no link... it must be brokens

[lolab.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHA

god, it's just never not funny.

[guilt-lines.livejournal.com]

What percentage of the fic would you say was added along the way, i.e. not in the original outline?

[lolab.livejournal.com]

oh, lord. the last couple chapters were almost completely revamped, once red got involved, because she helped me add a much richer, deeper, and more complex emotionality to it all. aside from that, there was a lot more improvised here than pwf. i had a fucking huge outline for this (longer than pwf's, even), but when i got to writing, i realized that the reason it was so long was b/c i had outlined entire conversations, which ended up being less than 10 scenes. so, yeah, a lot of just came from staring at the screen and thinking. lol.

[justranda.livejournal.com]

colin. how hard would i have to bribe you to have hot, monstrous fucking dirty sex with me. :p

[kaytvengeance.livejournal.com]

I kinda want to have sex with your icon nngh

[noahatthedisco.livejournal.com]

i'd like to have have the scene of them coming out on stage...


Also, I'd like to know What was going through Ryan's head during the spooning!sex... because ilRyan.

[lolab.livejournal.com]

YESSSSS. :D so i picture it something like their usual dorky/faily interaction, about halfway through the set, between, say, WTDMTN and brendon's song (which, hey, needs a title now), and this is the first time he's gonna play it. so it's something like.

ry: *standing at his mic* so, hey. you folks are awesome. [CAN NEVER GET OVER HOW HE CALLS US "FOLKS"] i hope you're having a good time 'cause we're having a good time, aren't we, brendon?
bren: *sets down his beer and croons low into mic* i'm having a very good time, ryan.
[everyone squees and ryan kinda ducks his head and smiles]
ry: so, we're gonna shake things up a little [b/c ryan is lame enough that playing a new song is "shaking things up"]... we've got a song off the new album and we want to play it for you. [cheering] or, actually, brendon's going to play it for us, all by himself, because he wrote it. all by himself.
bren: all by myself. *grins wickedly at ryan* i'm a big boy now.
ry: *grins* he's a big boy, ladies and gentlemen.

so bren smiles and closes his eyes and maybe sits on a little stool with his acoustic, and plays his song, but when he does look up, he's looking at ryan, and people are starting to be kind of O_O and \o/ at this point, and by the end of the song, ryan's made his way over to brendon's mic, and as the last note dies out, he just leans in, cups his face, and lays one on him, big and sloppy and AWESOME. and the crowd dies and stuff.

you should totally write that scene for real. :D i've imagined it for awhile now.

as for spooning!sex, that is a red question. *hands over mic*

[gothicduckie6.livejournal.com]

hmph. questions questions questions!

did you know you were going to end it like you did? or, did you have something else in our head, but went with something else?

[lolab.livejournal.com]

hmm... lol, oh god, this is so embarrassing, but i can actually copy/paste the original climax notes from my outline. it totally makes no sense, and i had no real *reason* for ryan ending it or for brendon suddenly being like "fuck this, we're not ending it." red really helped me flesh it out and add all those other dimensions/depths/complexities to it. here is all i had originally:

<< - ry announces he's going for a walk, and bden finds him by the lake. he just. explodes. "no. no, you know what? it's not okay. because FUCK fucking things up, ryan. THIS is fucking things up. you being afraid of this." r: "I'M afraid of this? you're the one who doesn't fucking know what he wants!" [this refs a whole convo that never made it into the fic] b: "yeah, well, maybe i lied, okay, maybe i'm afraid too, but i know what i want, i always have, okay? which is more than you can say." "fuck you, okay? i know exactly what i fucking want, it's just obvious i can't have it!" "what? what do you fucking want, ross?" "i'm in love with you. and. i don't care, anymore, about any of it. i don't care what the fucking interviewers say, i don't care that all fans say 'i told you so', i don't care that everyone's going to be dissecting every lyric i write for the rest of my life, trying to connect it to this, i just. i don't care. i just love you." [and see, this was the whole cliche i wanted to avoid, ryan being afraid simply b/c of what ppl would think. very glad i didn't go with that.] bden stares, frozen, then closes in on him, touching him, shaking. "say it again." ryan does. "again," bden says, breathless, and ry says "i fucking love you, fucking kiss me already." they just collide. epic. when they finally separate, ry looks expectantly, worriedly at him, and bden smiles and sez "oh, i love you too."
(when they get into their whole huge argument about HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT/WHAT YOU'RE FEELING, brendon's gonna be like, dude, i freaking played pachelbel's canon for you, i acted out my fucking wedding night with you, do you need me to like, give you a RING? and ry's just like... speechless. also stuff about how there are no guarantees; either of them could die tomorrow. i'd rather have one day with you than never have had you at all. p.s. we won't fail.) >>

LOL, so, pretty faily/vague. i was dreading that whole chapter b/c i didn't really know what to do. so she kinda saved me. as for the ending-ending, the very last scene, that was just improvised, except for the "i am home" line. i had an image of them packing up the car and leaving, and that little exchange, and that was it.

probably more than you ever wanted to know. :)

[simply-diva.livejournal.com]

Hi there... I have a question *raises hand*

It´s not really about the story line, but about the writting process. *Ehem* ... So, where did you get this amazing idea? Did you just dream of it one day, or was it just the twitter drama going on with the guys or what?

Tell us more about the writter(s) inspiration for this =)

[redorchids.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll leave this one to Colin for the main arc and such. This is really his story. I just tagged along from somewhere around chapter... five, I think?

I started out kind of betaing? Or not so much betaing as bribing Colin to send me previews of scenes in exchange for snippets of Peterick porn from my BBB that I was working on. And then we just started discussing things more and more, and I got more invested in the story and was basically just not letting stuff go and bugging Colin endlessly about motivations and such, sending back incredibly useful comments such as "this feels off to me. idk why. it's wrong somehow. you need to fix it." LOL

Yes, so, that kind of segued into Colin making a "fine, smartass, YOU write it!" joke. And then we both kind of went... "um... well maybe..." :-D And then we kind of merged in awesome brain-melty ways (and here, Colin is going to make a dirty joke, because I know he won't be able to resist) and the fic kind of grew into something that was very much OUR story in the last couple of chapters. Very cool. :-)

[tailover5.livejournal.com]

this is about the amazing and wonderful video that was made
i was wondering where all the other clips were from
the ones obv not from brendon/ryan interviews or pictures?

[aylaranzz.livejournal.com]

I wanna know too, cause I thought I saw some QaF scenes in there.

[selectivelyurie.livejournal.com]

Okay, I fail at life and simply cannot think of any questions. It's not that I don't have any, because I do, I just don't know what to ask...

But while I'm here, may I just take the time out to say that a scene from the first part of Chapter 8 hit me today? The scene describing how they all swam out to the little island patch and did lines of coke off of Ryan's back. That was so beautiful and I have no idea why I didn't mention it because it deserved recognition (sorry :\). I could just picture that so vividly and it was perfect :*

As for questions right now, I guess the best I can ask is why did Ryan bring Brendon back to the cabin? I know he finally answered Brendon at the end, but I'm talking, what had to happen to make Ryan reconsider? What was the exact moment that made Ryan decide going back was a good idea? What was it that finally broke him down a little for him to even consider taking the trip?

idk, your fabulousness has stolen my ability to formulate anything useful. i'm still stuck in this world you've created and i refuse to leave :P

&you;

ps- it's so sad that i actually went back and looked over this to see if there were any possible 12-year-old innuendos in here for you to snicker at XD

[lolab.livejournal.com]

i am just going to start off by :DDDDing your p.s. ...and that just sounded dirty, so. XD

DUDE. you are the FIRST PERSON to mention that little paragraph about them all, which is like, one of my sneakiest, favouritest moments in the whole story. red and i even talked about me writing a GSFy prequel to this, it'd have to be AU to this story, but it's basically the story of how they go to the cabin and basically spend the whole time experimenting with crazy ass drugs. which is why their music is all weird, and then they get sober and realize they wouldn't dare turn it into an album. and it ends where basically, they all sort of fell into this gsf relationship, hot and dirty and shameless, but they were always so high/drunk/drugged when they did sexual stuff that they kind of forgot it during the day, like it was all this big weird haze... it would be such an interesting and tricky dynamic to tackle, but it'd be so interesting. i wish someone would write it.

...ANYway, yeah, that paragraph came out of nowhere and i'm surprised no one commented on the clearly slashy implications of it. ryan all spread out and shirtless, jon stroking his hair, spencer kissing his bare shoulder, and brendon's probably just watching the whole thing with his knees hugged to his chest, trembling from arousal and coke combined. ugh, now i just want to write that one little scene as a oneshot. maybe i will. or someone should.

ANYWAY. *uses gsf icon tinhattily*

okay, so. the thing is. i never gave ryan's motivation much thought. because i honestly felt *he* didn't give it much thought. like, he didn't LET himself give it much thought. i think his zen stuff started opening his mind to things, started making him more aware and wanting to explore himself more, and i think the 2007-cabin incident was something he'd deeply repressed, just tried to brush it off as a fluke, and now that he was becoming more aware of himself, he wasn't able to just ignore it anymore. but i honestly don't think he knew why exactly he decided to ask brendon to go. brendon kept saying "why did you bring me here?" and ryan wasn't not answering b/c he didn't want to say; he literally didn't know, himself. i think... and here's where the ross-brand complexity comes in... he brought him there to figure out why he brought him there. *rolls eyes* idk. i feel like he had little subconscious visions, motivations, ideas, hopes, fears, goals... but nothing solid. no real expectations.

if that makes any sense. :P

good question.

[mudd248.livejournal.com]

I was going to ask about the porn scenes in the video, but someone already got to that.

So I guess, following the question above, why did Brendon decide to go? It was an impulse decision, so did he figure he had nothing to lose? Wanted an adventure? Sexytimes with Ross? All of the above?

Going back a ways...the car wash/argument scene...was that your(Colin) way of expressing issues with the boys? Or was there some other meaning behind it? I guess it's just a scene that's always stuck with me because I like to think that people do lash out at each other and do stupid stuff, and don't always logically settle issues.
Thanks!

[lolab.livejournal.com]

ah yes, i think red's gone to bed, but she will probably explain in more detail tomorrow.

i think for brendon it was, yes, what did he have to lose? and of course, the hope he's never able to kill, that things might actually happen with ryan and work out. brendon is an optimist where ryan is a pessimist. it would take a lot for brendon to truly give up hope. i think also it was just that he couldn't resist. an adventure with ryan, just the two of them. and i think -- on a very unconscious level -- there was a small part of him thinking of the cabin when they set off, even before they got close to the location. i think somehow intuitively, that's where his mind went. i think he and ryan had a tiny bit of psychic connection and both knew what they were in for.

the car wash scene was... both. it was certainly my issues (dealing with canon crap at that period was really hard, just digesting it for me personally), but i do honestly feel that's THEM, the boys in this story, lashing out and genuinely having those very issues with each other. so i guess it would've been indulgent, save for the fact that that is really how i see them in this fic. ryan being critical of brendon's relationships because deep down he wants brendon for himself, and brendon being so sensitive about it because of all his relationship failures, and especially ryan's recent epic failure with keltie, and ryan still thinking he had any right to criticize brendon in the relationship department. it was a trainwreck waiting to happen, i think.

[desfinado.livejournal.com]

Two questions. The first one I thought was from this fic but I read all your stuff at once this past month so it might be from a different one - in which case, sorry! You don't have to answer!

1. What inspired the kinks? You know, that discussion they have that one night pre-hooking up and Brendon discovers that Ryan likes when people grab his wrists and I think Brendon talks about snowballing. And there are more that they discuss.

I am assuming they are your kinks, heh, cause I know I do the same when I write... but why did you choose to attribute those particular ones to Ryan and Brendon?

2. What intrigues you about the type of relationship these two had during the fic before they finally hooked up? You know, the kind where two people are close friends, but one is madly in love with the other, and they both know it but don't name it, and fall into cuddly relationship-type patterns that could almost be considered "taking advantage of" or "leading on" the one that's madly in love... haha, long-winded explanation right there! But I know I have been on both sides of that type of relationship before with close friends, and it's addicting and guilty and terrible and almost-never-enough all at once. It worked so well here, and I am curious why you chose that for these two in this story! Or in a few of your stories, I think, it seems like a particular idea you have of how Ryan and Brendon might be...

PS Drugged out/coke-on-an-island GSF fic idea: gold. DO IT. Drugsex is soooo good.

[alphabetatoast.livejournal.com]

DUDE. You have the best questions ever.
(I was thinking about that second one myself...)

[desfinado.livejournal.com]

Okay okay okay I am sorry if I am overstepping my question quota. Or other boundaries with this. Feel free to shoot me down. But I just. Okay. This:

"My dick's totally bigger than his," Ryan announces, stealing the joint back.

"Ross, your dick is bigger than everyone's."

So. How big?

I want specs.

+ Brendon? (clearly grower not a shower)

So in love with big!Ryan, especially when he knows he is. askjlasdasd

[lolab.livejournal.com]

HAHA. my girlfriend and i went through a ryan ross's crotch picspam recently and discussed this very issue. she's more skeptical than i am, but i'm willing to give him 8.5/9" hard. which, for his stature, is like. yeah. ngh.

i'm not sure about brendon. i'm just going to give him the benefit of the doubt and not say anything. XD *pets him lovingly*

I'M IN LOVE WITH BIG!RYAN WHEN HE KNOWS HE IS TOO. WTF IS THAT. alsdjahgoaigr.

*uses most appropriate icon ever in history*

[alphabetatoast.livejournal.com]

I'm greedy and I wrote you cello fic, so I thinks I gets three. Yes?

1) Firstly, what's Jon/Spence?Shane/Pete/Patrick/everyone's reactions when they come back after the trip as ~together? I know they all know already, but do they make a big deal about officially telling everyone or is it kinda like, not mentioned and do they just carry on as normal?

2) Secondly - five years time? You'd better tell me they're married Colin, I swear to God... and if so.... just give me a brief description of wedding? PLEASE? O saw you mentioned it up there *points* that it was in Tuscany and then they fly off to Greece or something, and that wedding night scene? 89324b8jewfu Yes please. But I wants MOAR! Just... talk about this forever and ever, yes?

3) Thirdly - when do you see them actually falling in love with each other? I mean, I see Brendon falling in love with Ryan long long before Ryan did with him. Maybe some time after they first met? Years before even the first kiss in the cabin? And then Ryan's process of falling in love with Brendon was almost subconscious? Like over the years it happened to him but he didn't realise it? But was Ryan in love with Brendon before he asked him on the trip, or did he just suspect it and then only really realise it whilst they were there? Woah, that was rambly and I'm not making any sense, so I'll shut up.

4) And now, I gotta ask... what was your favourite scene in the fic? Either to write, or as the end product? You get to pick one sex-scene, and one non-sex-scene, because I'm mean. :P

And I gotta tell you mine now, just to let you know how awesome you are so you can feel good about yourself: my favourite non sex scene was right back in chapter one, with Ryan changing a tyre. And pretending to be Brendon's boyfriend to get rid of Troy. Just because... I'm sorry. SO much win. \0/
And my favourite sex scene was the first time they went bareback. Which was just made my favourite EVEN more when they're by the lake and Brendon's like "WTF, I played you Pachelbel's Canon, I acted out my wedding night with you, do I need to give you a fucking ring???" Just... it was totally an emotional-wedding night. And I can't even communicate to you the amount of awesome. <333

And finally... if we beg enough, will you write little one-shots of moments in the future? Or are you going to get us to write it for you? DAMN Colin, you're gonna get fanfiction written of your fanfiction!

[redorchids.livejournal.com]

LOL LOL LOL!!! Colin already HAS fanfiction on his fanfiction. That's how this whole co-write/brain-melt/dirty talk/engagement thing got started with us. Stick it out for the director's cut and you'll have at least... three pieces I think. LOL LOL LOL (but hey, feel free to write more! I promised I would write the Shane/Brendon bj-in-a-carwash prequel scene, but if someone wants to take that one off my hands, I'd be very happy to give it away. :-D)

Most of the above is for Colin to answer, but I'll butt in on 3) and 4) anyway, just because. *impish smile*

3) The day they met. Both of them. Ryan is just INSANELY slow on the uptake. LOL. (This is my Ryden default always. It takes A LOT to convince me that anything other than love at first sight (or, within a week at least) should apply. LOL.)

This is probably not the official version for THIS story though. So, you know. Don't mind me. I'll just sit here with my tinhat and rub my hands gleefully together.

4) Favourite sexscene is a tie between wedding-night!sex (first time they go bareback) and pianissimo-powerplay!sex. The first one because it was awesome to write (first scene we really co-wrote for this) and the second because I love powerplay and that scene sort of spurred a whole debate on RYAN'S safeword and how that came about (more on that in the director's cut. :-))

Favourite non-sex scene? I really loved the pornfiction war with Pete and Patrick, have to admit. Throw Patrick Stump into ANYTHING, and I'm pretty much guaranteed to adore it. Plus, I couldn't breathe properly for hours after reading that. So funny. I also love Brendon's lyrics. It was the first time I wrote lyrics in Brendon's voice and it was so different from writing lyrics for Ryan. I wrote them in France, when I'd just come back from skiing and had our tiny, tiny room for myself for a while. Working on the story felt like a little piece of home. It was kind of wonderful.

[dirty-classical.livejournal.com]

What's your single favourite line from the whole story?

To be fair you can have one that's funny and one that's serious.

[redorchids.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, that's a really good question.

I think it's "Their second album lied; the piano doesn't know shit." for me. That just made me laugh when I wasn't expecting to, and the effect of it where it was in the story just made it really special to me somehow.

Favourite sexy line: "Tell me a secret." during the pianissimo powerplay. Because that's just sexy as fuck. :-)

[star-trekked.livejournal.com]

What was the French that Ryan said to Brendon and what Spencer told Brendon to say back? Did I just miss that part somewhere? :)

[redorchids.livejournal.com]

I think Colin twittered the translation at some point, but it was "J'ai tellement peur de ce que tu me fais sentir," which means "I'm so scared of what you make me feel." and then Brendon replies with "Qu'est-ce que je te fais sentir?" which means "What do I make you feel?"

I love French. It's so sad I don't live in France anymore where I can speak it every day.

[stelaclaudi.livejournal.com]

i'm lame, i can't think of any questions.

BUT did you know that at one point in the panic! dvd bden says "you wanna go back to the place?" ?
well he does, at around 19:39. just thought i'd point that out.

[lolab.livejournal.com]

HA, are you serious? that's fucking awesome. i just stole the line from NITA. lolz

[allionacid.livejournal.com]

Hey, where did you get the porn clips for the video?? Cause the guys resembled Brendon and Ryan so much it was scary...

[lolab.livejournal.com]

:)
http://lolab.livejournal.com/102077.html?thread=5630141#t5630141

[fixme-in-45.livejournal.com]

A question about appearances i guess
as trivial as it sounds... I'd like to know what you both saw the characters of Ryan and Brendon looking like...

for example, their hair..clothes they wore out...stuff like that...hippie phase ryan, lennon phase ryan, other kind of ryan?.... buzzcut brendon, long hair brendon, bowlcut brendon?...
I'm kinda hoping I had similar ideas of them to you as i was reading along


also, the best visual you provided in the whole fic for me, was that of Brendon doing lines of coke off Ryan's back in the middle of the lake as the sun was setting. That took my fucking breath away.

[lolab.livejournal.com]

ah. well, since it technically takes place only a couple months ago, and in the fic, ryan ~changes a bit in california (*sniff*, whatever, there's still time :/...), i basically see brendon as he is now but with slightly longer hair. wearing that damn gray shirt everywhere, skinny jeans, converses, the usual. ryan's gone into the zen phase, so i see him as primarily the way i described him in chapter one, which is essentially identical to this:
http://www.patdonline.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=497&pos=5
which, just.... NGHHHHHHHH. *orgasms*

i really loved that visual too, even though i hate drugs or the idea of them doing coke IRL. it's such a beautiful image, somehow, in a kind of sad way. but thank you!

[notyourshot.livejournal.com]

i have a question! which isn't all that pccf-realted. although it kind of is.

anyway.

does it bother you that people (including me) use pwf as a contrast point for your other fiction? sometimes to compare, sometimes to talk about the different reactions. yeah. so, does it?

[lolab.livejournal.com]

HA. well. i don't want to offend anyone who HAS made that comparison, because i know a lot of people loved that fic and i am very grateful for that. but... i would kind of rather not, actually. it hasn't been long since i wrote it, but even in that short time my writing style has evolved (as it hopefully always will), and if i were starting pwf now instead of last summer, i would write it very differently. so, to ME, i don't really see that as an accurate comparison point for my writing as a whole, because i don't think it fully reflects the way i write now. it had its strong points, but it was fairly indulgent and glossed over realism a lot. not that i'm not proud of it, it's just... idk, i guess it's like typecasting. no one wants to be known for just one thing forever, y'know?

still, no, it really doesn't bother me that much. i'm glad so many people loved it. :)

[autumn-carnival.livejournal.com]

Hi! I couldn't resist so I have a few questions :)

1. Okay, so does Ryan really reach nirvana? I know you mentioned the white light and feeling like he has all the answers (and I could probably just research it) but what's that like if you could sum it up in a few sentences? Like, what was going through Ryan's head before/during? How'd his body feel since he was still having sex with Brendon? (LMAO at Bden's brain, "so, my dick made you reach nirvana?")

2. What's the title for Brendon's song? Please tell me you he thought of one :D

3. Okay, this is kind of out there, but could you make up the liner notes for their new album where they thank each other for their epic love and Ryan maybe still apologizes for taking so long? Or something? I just want to flail! :3

4. Did you come up with the powerplay sex in ch. 7? B/c that is the best sex scene that I've read. Ever.

[autumn-carnival.livejournal.com]

This is a late after thought... but for #3, you could make them give each other silly, adorable nicknames! :D :D *flails* Or just Brendon, b/c he's a dork like that and he totally would (ex/ Rybear, Rysaur, Rybrains... I don't know your thoughts on lame nicknames, y/n?). Ryan would probably just start with: "B, *emoness*"